My guess is...you both need to change. And it will take time.
I really suggest you see if the C can see you for a couple of sessions on your own. You have quite a bit to get off your chest and a productive way to do that is through the C. Afterall, that's the person best equipped to help you both.
Be prepared for some hard work. And don't be afraid to ask the tough questions in the C's office. I've found that there are times it's better for me to say some of the things I'm thinking/feeling in the C's office with my H there...becaues then the C can help ensure that misunderstandings don't happen and the communication is clear.
