THANK YOU for posting on my thread. I read through your "separated" thread and SO much of it parallels my sitch (other than we are of opposite sex) My X wanted the D not me, but ultimatly I was the one who filed and went to court. We did it Pro Se so no lawyers were involved. The only reason I was the one who filed was because I just could not live in LIMBO any longer. It was wearing on my nerves.
I started seeing C in June of last year and have made so many strides on working on myself. From what MIL let me know, X wanted D cuz HE believes that HE could never make me happy and hopes that I can find HAPPINESS with someone else. I told her that I now SEE that NOOOOO he could not make me happy, only I can do that. I was so unhappy with ME that I did not SEE that I not only opened the door for him, I actually pushed him out of it.
I just wish I could tell him that I now SEE how much my actions hurt him and that I now realize how hurt and unhappy HE was. I know that it is TOO SOON for that kind of admission, so I will wait until the RIGHT opportunity presents itself (if that opportunity ever presents itself). I have learned from this site and DR that PATIENCE is of utmost importance now. I'm trying but it is so hard. I have been trying to GAL and actually I have been SEEING someone for about 7 months now (he knows where I stand and that I want to be back with X and yet he still wants to be with me and he just ADORES my kids). I know I know, I was not ready to become involved with someone else, but it just happened. Just like Xs internet EA "just happened".
I know that the D is just a piece of paper, just like marriage license, so that is what I am holding on to. I am holding on to that "little bit of hope" and am confident that in time X will SEE that our R can be something TOTALLY different (and SOOOOOOO much better). I too have grown soooo much through this whole ordeal and as weird as it may sound, I feel that I had to go through it to REALLY appreciate what I had and realize that "what I had" is what I have wanted all along. I just hope X will SEE that I am truly sincere and that it is NOT too late after all.
ONE DAY AT A TIME, that has been my motto for about a year and 1/2 now. My main focus lately has been ME and my kids. If nothing else, my relationship with my kids has gotten soooooooooooooo much stronger and closer. And for that, I am eternally greatful to X and to God.
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We cannot solve the problems we face at the level of thinking that got us into them in the first place. Albert einstein
My X wanted the D not me, but ultimatly I was the one who filed and went to court. We did it Pro Se so no lawyers were involved. The only reason I was the one who filed was because I just could not live in LIMBO any longer. It was wearing on my nerves.
