I've been lurking in this forum for a couple of months now, but have only found the courage to post just in last few days.
I guess the "reality" is starting to set in now. I SOOOOOOOOOOOO don't want to be Divorced, but that is no longer an issue, the deed is done. I'm going to try to link my thread from Newcomers now. Wish me luck!
Don't know if that worked, but I guess I'll find out when I'm done.
I really want to be back with my X (it's still so weird calling him that) but Just a few days ago I was "enlightened" that he as of this point in time, has absolutly no intentions of coming back. This was not from him directly, but from a friend of mine who had an "interesting" conversation with him over IM (without his knowing who it was at first) on Friday.
She e-mailed me their convo, and it's very discourageing. I read in Michelle's book Divorce Remedy the part about the Do's and Don'ts and how they are going to "see" only the negative part of the relationship right now, but not to get discouraged cuz they are feeling negative and feel they have done the "right" thing in leaving the sitch.
I'm trying to have a PMA and GAL and just live each day "one day at a time" but sometimes the whole sitch just overwhelmes. I am trying my damndest to make a life for just me and my kids, but sometimes the whole "fairy tale" of Dad, Mom & kids under one happy roof just crashes down on me. From what I have seen X has "moved on" and is Just Peachy with his single fatherhood life. As far as I know, he's not "seeing" a real person right now, but is still VERY VERY into cyber s*** and looking on all kinds of internet dating sites (don't ask how I know, I just know).
My question is: Even though we have been getting along recently, how do I proceed knowing that several years before BOMB, he was "friendly" with others (on Internet)while still letting me believe that WE were OK. You know what, as much as this stupid computer has given me comfort in the last several months in the form of you guys at this site, it really is an evil thing when used to "escape" from "real" life.
