Blackfoot: I used to be the budget guy in the house, and I use the term "budget" very loosely. I got the bills and sent the checks. After I ended up screwing up a couple of times, I handed it over to W. In spite of the fact that she can be a real b!tch on wheels, she has done great with our finances. She made a budget, and we stick to it. She shares the budget with the kids and they have to stick to it, too. One of the kids commented to me the other day, "I like it over here (as opposed to his mom's house) because it's always clean, quiet, and I know we're not going broke." H: Going broke? Kid: Yeah. I have no idea if mom is poor or rich. I don't know if she's putting away money for college or not. She buys herself stuff all the time, but, when she buys us stuff she always complains that you left her in poverty. I know you're putting away money for my college because you've shown me the account. I want to be like you guys when I grow up, and have a budget.
I want my wife to continue being the one in charge of the finances. I admit that I can spend irresponsibly, and she keeps me in check.
I appreciate your comment that a change in financial control can really change the dynamics of the relationship. I just need to find a way to change the dynamics outside of the financial control issue. And I am actually doing that, little by little. Ask some of the oldtimers here. I used to be such a doormat. Not any more.
