I've been feeling guilty about not journaling more regularly lately. But I'm going to take Sage's sage advice and journal for myself.
It's been a quiet but cold week. Winter has set in early in the midwest, and it's frigid (more like January). But the snow has been beautiful. I enjoy the opportunity winter provides us for introspection. I have spent some time lately thinking about where I was last year at this time, where I was the year before, and where I am now.
Two years ago was very strained. SO's daughter had moved in with us, and it was our first Christmas with her here. We were not far enough into our R to have established our own traditions, so we were still grasping at straws and trying to figure things out. Since his D15 was new to the equation, it made things more complicated. I was also under a great deal of stress at work with some added responsibilities. All in all, it was not necessarily a good time.
Last year at this time I was celebrating the holidays as a single person again. I was dating Mr. Professor, but it certainly was no firecracker R. We very much enjoyed each other's company. SO knew I was dating, and I think this is about the time he started dating OW1. We rarely spoke; I never initiated contact. And when we did speak, he was always very agitated. I would just DR my derrier off, listen, smile, validate, and not share much of what was going on in my life. It worked very well! I thank God for those tools...they helped me keep my head about me in the face of some very challenging times.
In retrospect, I really think it bugged the daylights out of him that I was building my life just fine without him.
This year, I think I am in a much better place, and it's not just because of the reconciliation with SO. It has more to do with DR and the lessons I've learned over the past year. I've learned to live in the present. I've learned to appreciate the gifts I have around me. I've learned to be quiet and watch and wait for what is around the corner, because even though it might be hard, it will always be good in someway because God is good. And if I am especially quiet and watchful, I will see a miracle or two.
I have learned that there are wonderful, loving, gifted, broken people in the world, thanks to this BB. Knowing that helps me be more sensitive to those I come into contact with on a daily basis. It helps me to remember that I don't know their story so I should be extra kind to them, just in case they could use a little extra kindness.
I have learned <sigh> yet again to let go of past hurts. Once I have learned lessons from them, they offer nothing else of value to me and they only weigh me down and prevent me from continuing on my journey.
That is enough for now.
I am looking forward to a wonderful weekend. SO's D15 is with him, so we won't be having any sleep-overs , but tomorrow night is my semi-formal holiday party for work. SO is going with me; I have a lovely new (inexpensive) party dress and we are going to have a lovely time which includes dancing (our second favorite activity to do together).
and journal for myself. 
, but tomorrow night is my semi-formal holiday party for work. SO is going with me; I have a lovely new (inexpensive) party dress and we are going to have a lovely time which includes dancing (our second favorite activity to do together). 
