Martha - I really like the way you have described your journey thus far, and gosh, there is a big lesson here for me.
I don't necessarily need to talk specifics with him about what I'm feeling; he knows it is still painful for me, and it is painful for him. I think the fact that I acknowleged his pain helped pave the way for his acceptance of my vulnerability
I'm not sure I have ever acknowledged his pain in all of this Not sure how he would handle it necessarily, but something for me to think about.