Quote: Is our ability to forgive related in direct proportion to level of self confidence/security?
Didn't read past this so others may have said the same thing. I think so. You are comfortable now with who you are (I mostly feel that way about myself) and what happened in the past happened to the other Martha. I think that's why you didn't care about the e-mail. It's like it happened to someone else.
I wanted to chime in about the blog and lie thing. I really have a problem with the lie concept and having a notion that from now on we are always going to be truthful. Why did you ask again after he told you he didn't? Why did you want to know badly enough to ask again (which in essence is accusing him of lying the first time)? And then why upset about the "lie"? It's not as though the actual lie was in some way harmful to you. On the contrary, I think it's better if you didn't know. He has a right to venting his thoughts. If not in a diary, then in his blog. If my XW asked if I still go to this site and write I would say "NO". Does that hurt her any? Nope. Would reading my posts hurt her? Yep. Complete and total honesty is overrated. You don't want to know if you look fat in these jeans...you want to hear of course not.
Wes
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Hey, following up on the forgiveness question: slowly has a great insight posted on her thread today. Basically she reminds us that,in the same way that DBing is a process, forgiveness is also a process and not a destination. Maybe this is partly why our level of forgiveness increases as our self-confidence increases--because we are moving forward in the process. Just an idea.
Just passing through .... There might be some truth in the anonymous e-mails. It is something to think about. He cheated on OW2 with you as you stated in this thread. Keep those thongs tied tightly around his neck.
Quote: On Sunday, July 31, 2 weeks after SO told me not to wait for him, we met again for a beer in the afternoon. It was then and there that he told me he was afraid he would loose me for ever. It was then and there that he told me I am the woman he wants to marry; spend the rest of his life with; call Mrs. SO.
I was shocked, amazed, astounded, giddy, giggly as a school girl.
Later that night we played Romeo and Juliette and he climbed into my bedroom window and we ML for the first time in eleven and a half months. By August 12, 26 yo OW2 was toast.
Many of you asked about my Stats final. Thank GOD it was for all intents and purposes a take home. I spent 15 hours on the damn thing, and while there were many questions I missed, I snagged the extra credit question. All in all, I passed my grad stats with a B! Yay me! Thank you, all of you, for asking about it and thinking of me.
I have been taking a break from my coursework this month and next. I want to have the time to enjoy the holidays and spending time with the family (read grandsons!).
Speaking of the grandsons, both are doing wonderfully! They are as different and unique as any two little baby boys can be, but they are both marvelous! Tristan is now 5.5 months old, sucking his thumb regularly, now eating cereal and veggies and fruits and juices. He's started teething, so my DD25 and DSIL23 have had a couple of sleepless nights, but they are managing fine.
Wyatt is 4.5 mos. old now and is constantly rolling over and has learned to use his head as "pivot" to scoot around! Needless to say he has developed some early "male patterned baldness" but we expect that to correct itself once he starts crawling/walking!
Here's the funny thing about being a grandparent...I WANT MORE!!! I want my kids to have TONS of kids! I know...<sigh> selfish of me, but I absolutely LOVE this! I keep envisioning myself surrounded with bunches of grandkids! It is a most amazing joyful place to be in my life!
Things have been well, dare I say it, positively picture perfect with SO! He is the most wonderful, attentive, romantic man I've ever known. Of course I knew these things about him long ago, and saw much of it early in phase I of our R. But he has definitely taken it the next level and beyond.
A couple of week ago he surprised me at work by sending THREE dozen roses, for absolutely NO reason...just because! And today I received a very gushy and romantic card in the mail.
He is constantly taking my picture and has taken to drawing my likeness. He calls me his muse. Last week we were at a conference and he is now introducing me as his "fiance-to-be".
He finally told his D15 about us two nights ago. She took it quite well, even though we were both concerned that she would be very emotional about it. She told him she doesn't care as long as nothing changes (e.g. me living w/SO again). We have no plans for that, as quite frankly I don't care to live with her as an adolescent again. (Those of you who have followed my sitch know that she was pivitol to our break-up.)
Essentially we have a two-week rotation of dating based on his father responsibilities, and that is working very well. It gives us much needed apart time, but we still manage dinner and lunch dates, and even sleep-overs for the ML fairy when his D15 is staying at a friend's.
For now the plan is to marry after his D15 gets out of h.s., but he has not officially proposed...yet. He's saving up $$ an engagement ring. We were in a store last weekend and I was showing him the styles of rings I liked.
SO has put a lot of effort into building and re-building effective communication skills, both with me and other women in his life (e.g. D15 and his XW). He's been reading a book called "Gender Speak" and it is giving him some good material. We are also reading, together, "The Lost Art of Listening", although we haven't gotten very far in it yet. We enjoy reading out loud to one another.
SO seems to be totally enamoured with me right now, and I'm enjoying every minute of it! Interestingly enough, I'm the one who's not nearly so pursuant, and I'm enjoying the see-saw effect.
I'll try to be better about updates.
Love and blessings to you all; you are always in my thoughts and prayers!
So glad to know that all is well with you. You're wise to take it slow right now with SO and take the time to smell the roses--literally! Enjoy--you deserve it.
Quote: Can you tell me the origin behind this new screen name? Will walk? Or what?!
I just realized I never answered this question!
It's Willow-Walk. I took it from a Stevie Ray Vaughan song...a line which goes something like, "Baby when you walk, you shake like a Willow tree. Baby when you walk, you shake like a Willow tree. A woman like you could make a fool of a man like me."
