It's been an interesting past couple of days with SO. Between our respective busy schedules, we hadn't really spent any quality time together since last weekend, so we went out on a dinner date Thursday night. We had a wonderful time -- lovely, long, lingering dinner, great conversation, laughter, fun, great food, a little red wine, etc. We went back to his place and I spent the night there.
Last night we each had independent happy hour plans after work, so we agreed to meet at his place around 7 for some dinner and just a quiet night.
During dinner, the conversation took a turn for the worse and we ended up having an argument. We tried the "arguing naked" thing, but I felt way too vulnerable and was really on the fence about leaving, so I put my clothes back on.
Basically it boiled down to SO saying something during dinner which hurt my feelings -- something about our past. I felt like I'd been smacked with a 2x4 out of the blue. I'd had a little too much wine with dinner, so I was having a hard time gaining control of my attitude in an objective manner. I really struggled with dragging out a bunch of crap that he'd done, in a defensive move. But I didn't. I knew it would get us nowhere and would only escalate the argument.
The whole comment was really contradictory on his part. He's told me several times that as far as he's concerned, he and I started this past August; the past doesn't count. That's why I felt fairly violated in his bringing this transgression of mine up -- I have tried to honor his perspective that we started in August. (It's not even something that I agree was a transgression on my part, but I have tried to respect that is how he percieves it.)
So gang, thoughts? I suspect this contradictory behavior of his will come up again. I could really use some input on how to deal with this in the future. I was really at a loss last night. I kept finding myself wanting to say, "But what about....?" He hates when I do this; when I point out his contradictions/inconsistencies, he feels really attacked and very betrayed (he's told me this in the past).
Thanks for reading/listening/helping me with ideas.
