Thanks for stopping by my thread. We must have cross-posted.
Quote: I really learned alot from your sitch, in terms of you struggling with an overfocus late spring/early summer, and making the decision to drop the rope and focus on your own goals separate from SO.
Thank you, Gabriel! This is quite a high compliment coming from you! I learned much from you too. You really helped me during those phone conversations when I was struggling so much on the edge.
Ultimately I think this is key. In my past C sessions, with a variety of counselors, Venn diagrams have always come up as a symbol. This is a visual that has helped me a lot. It's a 2 circle Venn, with each person in the R represented by one circle, and the overlapping are is the R itself. Sometimes there is great overlap, and sometimes there is a smaller area of overlap. As long as we can remember this moves back and forth, and it is our responsibility to pay attention to both our own area and the area of overlap, it can help us stay focused. The other important part of this representation is to remember that we are not responsible for paying attention to our SO's area of individuality. That's their job; not ours. This fits well with the concepts in M&V -- the whole Mr. Fix-It and the Home Improvement Committee thing.
The other lesson I've learned that has been invaluable came from the Real Magic book I read. I really needed to be reminded to keep my eyes open for the seemingly small miracles that happen everyday, which we all too easily take for granted -- a smile, a look, a touch, a flower, a thoughtful gesture. If we can be more aware of these actions around us, we can also become more aware of our ability to create miracles too, for ourselves and for others.
