Quote: he said he was afraid that if I knew about the blogs I'd go looking for them, and then I'd just be hurt by what I read. (Gee, that makes me feel good too...)
Put on your armor, my friend, because this is going to sound like two by four whacks.
How did SO react when you showed him your threads here?
Yeah, he's the WA, but if you're going to make this work, he can't be the WA and you can't be the LB anymore. He's a guy who found someplace to vent his frustration and thereby didn't take it out on you. You're a woman who was hurt and found a place to vent your frustration so you didn't take it out on him.
I bet it hurts to find out about the blog. I bet it hurts even more that he covered it up when you asked. I feel that you're both going to have to give up some hurt, or right to be hurt, if you're going to go forward. And he's going to have to be more honest and open than he was in this one instance. (Don't ignore or cling to this one instance.)
This is a test of you, of him, and of your new R. How well you and he handle it will go a long way to tell how well your new R will handle it. Now's the time for doing the things the R books talk about. You thought you had "Success in a New Day" already, but it's the start of the real work. The staying together, with and for one another. The hard stuff that is its own reward.
Just remember how much you've done so far, how much better you and your sitch are compared to, oh, let's say, last October. You've done that, you can do this.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
