Saturday - she invited herself to your son's soccor game the morning after you have accepted you two are just friends
Sunday - walked dogs together in the day, went to movie together that evening
You crack me up..It is going to take awhile to get to used to this new dynamic. You say it like you have truly realized that it is finished. I am being a smart a$$--I know.
I haven't been following your posts that closely. I remember reading them a long time ago though. Back then even, you were having lots of interactions with spouse.
How long has it been since the bomb? Maybe I am way off base here because I haven't been following your story closely enough.
This is what I see. I see a women who may want a new relationship with you, but wants you to give her space and to stop pressuring her. It is definitely not hopeless. Someone who wanted a divorce would not be spending every day of the weekend with ex. They would want to forget about you. Plus, I think she would want to start to move back into the dating scene or find some kind of companionship. You can not do that if you are still involved with an ex. It would confuse the heck out of her.
Take this as an example. When I look back on my own situation, I see so many times I could have stopped my divorce if I would have known about DBing and given ex the space he wanted. About two months after divorce was filed, H would let me spend the night often. We would not have sex though. I'll get to that in a minute. During these overnight visits I would insist on talking about why he filed for divorce. He would say, "Can't we just sit and enjoy being together." I was so consumed with "why did you this to me" that I would never let him enjoy being with me. He would practically be begging me to shut up so he could learn to love me again. He would also let me sleep with him, but he would not have sex with me. I later read in an email that he sent to a female friend that he just had to much anger towards me to be able to have sex with me. I spent the night at his house often for a long time, but I eventually distanced myself and cut him off completely because he wasn't moving fast enough for me.
I think ex still has anger towards you that she is trying to handle. Again, how long has it been? It took about one year for my ex to feel comfortable to tell me that he definitely wanted to get back together again. Before that, he would tell me no every single time I asked. Today I don't ask--he just talks about our future "as if" it will happen.
Maybe I just don't know you or your story well enough. I could be dead wrong. I am just surprised that you are so sure you two will only be friends.
I do think you are putting too much pressure on her. Maybe telling yourself that you two will only be friends will allow you to give her the space she needs.
Also I know of two sets of couples who remarried. They both did it exactly 2.5 years after the divorce process began. One couple is my aunt and her husband, and the other couple is my best friend from highschool and her husband. These things take a long time.
