I put a note on your post. Kinda summed it up. In an old haunt were I met my XW with all the people who know us and doing something I haven't done since getting the bomb word.
All kinda closed in on me I guess. I am too sentimental it seems.
I am really digging hard for that strength thing.
Last edited by jak466; 09/19/0502:16 AM.
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
Working hard today both at the job and staying strong on my vow to not email. Give me strength.
I am feeling like I have to go dark for a few days. Dark from everyone. Getting too many emotions all at once. I hate this S#!T. Feeling like I'm in a blender and it keeps spinning. I need to find a focus. My focus. I don't know what that is and hardly what it means right now but know it is something I have to do. I feel a scream comming on.
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
I know how you feel. If you feel like screaming, then do it! Let it out. Just make sure others aren't watching
I have tried to move on, but realised that this isn't right for me now. I still love my EW, and I feel that getting involved w/ someone else isn't fair to that person - just my take.
The bike sounds cool. Do you ride w/ a bunch of people?
For me, going dark did wonders for myself and EW. I went dark for 4 months. It helped me to detatch, and focus on me. It also allowed her to see what life is like w/o me.
The love / hate cycles go on and on, so do what you must to get through them. Just don't hurt anyone.
Do not send a letter, or e-mail, or call telling her that you are done w/ this. Later, when you are not in a hate mode, you will regret this. I almost did the same thing, and now that the hate has passed ( for now anyway ) I'm glad that I didn't.
Keep venting here. We are all here for you, buddy. Time and patients. Just keep that in mind....
M: 35; Together 14 years - married 5.5 no children Bomb 22-JAN-2005; D a few months later First real relationship post D just ended ( 7 months ):(
I have done a bit of riding since I got the bike but always alone so far.
Don't intend to hurt anyone.
I agree I would regret sending any lememnts and do not intend too. That is one cheesless tunnel.
I love my wife deeply. But I will not stop my life completely waiting for her anymore.
Fire call
I'm back and editing.
There are others out there. If I find one while she is finding herself, she can deal with the pain and misery and hope I get straight. I will have my down days and I will grind through. But if I find another that I fancy, I think I can keep the two sitchs in perspective. And as we all know, my chances of getting back together is not a high percentage chance. So I will deal with the pain and cry when I have to and if I date, will concentrate on them and what they offer. Not what I am not getting from the one who left me.
Don't get me wrong, I never wanted to end up here wondering WTF and the people here have been nothing less than fantastic in helping me through this very tuff time. My wife was a wonderful warm person...when she was a wonderful warm person. I miss this person deeply. But I have been D'ed for 6? months and she seems to have moved on. It is only fair that I give myself the same opportunity to move.
This is one reason why I wanted to go dark at this time. I do love my X and I think of her all the time it seems. But if GALing also finds another for me I will be happy in that. And I will do my best to treat that person with all the love and respect I have/had for my X. I do not want to hate my X but also understand this is a step
Fire call finish later
Last edited by jak466; 09/19/0510:18 PM.
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
I do not want to hate my X but also understand this is a step in the recovery. It is also a little refreshing actually feeling again other than misery.
I hope this made a little sense to you out there following my sitch.
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
Perhaps we aren't feeling the best, but we had fun, right?! 
