I agree with everything that Mellanie said and your own personal musings. Because of our hopes and expectations we feel that our Xs should act/react a certain way and when it doesn't happen we are surprised and disappointed. It's easier to think..."we were in love. Those feelings didn't just go away" than to try and get our minds around the fact that perhaps the feelings did go away or at least are so suppressed that only time, loving detachment, and focusing on our own improvements will bring them back. I know what you mean when you say "I can't do this anymore", but I doubt your X will. Her response will be "Do what? We aren't doing anything. We're being divorced." Being divorced really doesn't put us in a position to expect anything of our X.
While your heart belongs to your X, I think that getting to seriously involved with another woman is not real wise. But you'll have to play that one by ear. I can only say make the most of each interaction you do have with X, be as positive, happy and confident as possible, and give her the space and time to let go of residual animosities, regrets, hurts, and all the other accumulated baggage.
Now about this meeting up stuff. Minneapolis isn't a terrible drive. I'm up for meeting for a drink, etc some weekend.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
