Hi Lou

I'm not giving up on Andy and it is still important to me, I'm just extremely tired of the sitch and I'm cautious after the last time, and to be honest, being this close scares the s**t out of me.

I was hurt over the sex thing and pissed off at him mentioning the OW, and niggled over his lack of enthusiasm for my work and it just all got the better of me; I found it too hard to DB, especially since he seemed 100% unaware of how I felt.

I already did give him a dose of his own medicine on that front I told him via text that EX-OM paid me a visit, he text back 'what did they want?' so maybe that little nudge lets him know what it feels like.

On the other hand, he is not a jealous person and only ever got jealous once that I can think of.
I remember back in 1997, I was having a coffee at this cafe next to my office and Andy was chatting to the cashier (we knew her) and this man walked in off the street and started trying to hit on me and he actually invited me back to his place! and Andy was standing there, only a foot away from me, watching this whole exchange and he was just grinning like it was funny, then the man gave up and left and Andy just laughed!

When I asked him why he didn't say 'hey you, that's my wife!' or get jealous, he just told me
'You are my wife and everyone else can dream but I'm the one that gets to take you home.'

He's just so sure of himself, he can watch other men trying to get me into bed and he's not bothered.

He was furious about my first one night stand with this Scottish guy, but that's the only time I've seen it bother him. He referred to him as 'Scotty Boy' so even mentioning EX-OM, I don't think he will mind.

Re the egg donation, thanks for your concern. Andy is worried about it and has questioned me on it and tried to talk me out of it as he says I've had 7 pregnancies and he's worried my body won't 'take the strain' (his words). Well, I am touched by his caring. This is one of the few times he's shown empathy for anything to do with me, and if I just stopped it now I'd feel bad that I failed the process so I am going to try the 2nd lot of drugs and if they give me side-effects or if the hyperacusis comes back I will quit.

He won't be around me if/when I have it done as I am going to ask him to have DD4 for a couple of days while they do the operation and by the time I see him again, I will hopefully be recovered.
I imagine they will have to give me fairly strong pain killers afterwards, though, because of the VS I suffer with, but it won't be as bad as childbirth and I've done that 4 times.
I promise I will quit if something else drastic happens.

Jo.