I woke up this morning, still feeling awful but trying to steel myself to keep away from Andy until he sorts himself out, if ever and I managed to wash up the pots although I still haven't tidied the toys.
I'd just got DD4 ready for nursery school and was about to go out when there was a knock at the door. I opened the door, and my X was standing there!
Not Andy, but the EX-OM that I dated for several months during that year I was 'dark' on Andy. We met in August 03 and had a sexual R between November 03 and April 04. He's the one that proposed marriage several times.
I left him in April 04 because he was too 'blokey' and insensitive and he had a nervous breakdown so I was having to put up with his mood swings and anger and forgetfulness. He was on so many meds, that frequently he would forget a date with me. He wasn't vaguely romantic, and I hated how he kissed, but he was very good in bed with his techniques so he kept me captivated by him for 5 months.
I finally made the decision to end it when we had spent all night in bed together and then the next day, because he was on meds with this breakdown, he went to the pub, got totally drunk (which he shouldn't have done on meds) and then phoned me up being really abusive and horrible just because he was pissed (drunk) and up to his eyes on medication. Also I was just about to go to trial over the kids and he wasn't massively supportive because he had too many of his own issues, so I just didn't feel I could have an R with him.
I cried that evening, then I told him we were over. He tried repeatedly until October 04 to persuade me to take him back, sent text messages every day, phone calls all the time, begged, pleaded, asked me to marry him numerous times, asked me to have his baby etc etc, sent me emails asking what he'd done and why I left him - all the usual stuff that completely switched me off. The nore I ignored him, the more he would do it and it got so bad, he was affecting my helpline as the phone was always engaged. So I ended up having him cautioned by the police and from then (October 04) I never heard from him again.
Obviously I've been on and off with Andy since December of last year anyway.
I couldn't believe it! I just stood there and stared at him in shock. He said 'I bet you didn't expect to see me here.' I said 'No.' He said he just wondered how I was and thought he pop over and visit me. I told him I was okay, but I was just on my way out with DD4 as I had to take her to nursery school. She was standing next to me and he said 'Is that her? She's grown!' (She was 21 months old the last time he saw her). He mentioned his son is now 5. I asked him if he got the visitation dispute sorted out with his ex-wife and he said yes, it was fine now. He asked how my website was going. I said okay, I got someone else to re-do it for me using Andy's original images. Then he said 'Well, I'm glad you're doing okay. I'll go now.' And he went, then I took DD4 to nursery, and she was saying 'Mummy, I don't remember him!'
UGH. I cannot believe it. I am going through all this drama with DB'ing and Andy saying he loves me etc etc, now I've got EX-OM on my doorstep, evidently still holding a torch for me.
