I am busy painting which allows too much thinking to go on in my head. I keep coming in here to the computer to type new thoughts.
I think it is all about getting healthy boundaries set. Face it, all of our marriages stunk before and we weren't too good at it. I am sure that had to do with a lot of unhealthy boundaries. Then the WAS had to really mess things up and throw an even bigger wrench in an already bad situation. In this new relationship, we have a lot healthier way of thinking which requires healthier boundaries. Andy doesn't realize what your knew boundaries may be. In a loving and firm manner, you need to teach him. This is going to take a lot of strength and patience on your part.
I taught junior high for awhile. It was a frigging nightmare. I cried everyday. The reason I had it so hard was because I didn't set consistent boundaries. (I was very young). My principal came in my room and told me the kids are confused. You tell them one thing and then let them do another. She was right! It was exhausting to stay consistent, but it was the only way to keep things controlled. After I had set the wrong boundaries from the get go, it took even more energy to get things under control.
Andy is probably confused of your expectations. Maybe he doesn't know how to make you happy in this new relationship, and you just need to show him more consistently.
Also... I have been listening to the radio too much. I just heard this song and remember how I heard this song shortly after he left. The words went so well with my situation. I knew things already stunk, but he had to just go and make them even more complicated.
Avril Lavigne
Complicated
Uh Huh
Life's like this
Uh Huh
Uh Huh
That's the way it is
Cause life's like this
Uh Huh
Uh Huh
That's the way it is
Chill out
What you yellin for?
Lay back
It's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin in your car
And you're talkin to me one-on-one
But you become
Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watchin your back
Like you can't relax
You tryin to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're actin like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turnin into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no no
You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're somethin else
Where you are ain't where it's at you see
You're makin me
Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off
All your preppy clothes
You know
You're not foolin anyone
When you become
Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watchin your back
Like you can't relax
You tryin to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're actin like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turnin into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no no
(no no no)
No no
(no no no)
No no
(no no no)
No no
Chill out
What you yellin for?
Lay back
It's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see
Somebody else
Round everyone else
Watchin your back
Like you can't relax
You tryin to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're actin like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turnin into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
(yeah yeah)
I see the way you're actin like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get
And you turnin into
Honestly, you promised me
I'm never gonna find you fake it
No no no
