You've already gotten some great advice, but I want to put in a few thoughts here. Just mho!
First off; I almost feel like you're terrified of this stage as you feel like you are losing 'control' of your life. Andy doesn't want you to watch the girls until it's 'his' choice. That has to hurt. (Another ((((hug)))) to you.) And he is wanting to choose how this R will proceed. And he is probably intimidated somewhat by your success, hence no positive vibes about your books.
My advice then; (you can either take it or leave it!) Don't drop the dbing, this is when you need it more than ever. Keep your focus on GAL. Keep your PMA up and work on what your goals are.
I almost feel like you are more scared of opening up your heart to your dd's as that would be too painful if Andy ran again. Just take it slow. Remember that even if OW2 is out of the picture, he will grieve over it. It's not fair, but he may be a butthead for a while. Keep your focus on dd4 and you, but do enjoy the times that you can w/all your dd's. I know this is hard, but if he does run away again; it will fall on his shoulders that he's taking them away. Don't push them away. Take baby steps.
t/c Jo, I'll be sending you some positive thoughts today. T
