I've been where you are, so distressed I was suicidal.
For what it's worth I really think your XH cares for you and he might act like an arse sometimes, but underneath the BS, there is love there and while he is obviously still trying you just need to try and keep your PMA up.
I do enjoy my time with them, but somehow I don't believe it because of what he's done in the past and I'm pissed off at having a part-time R but then he is trying and last time he was here, he really made an effort.
So I think I'll have to try and be less skeptical and maybe that will help me feel more loving.
The other day I bought myself some flowers and a mug that says:
'The other day I ran into my ex, so I reversed the car and hit him again.'
That really made me laugh I haven't got the courage to make him a coffee in it, though
Well, given what happened with the car, I am not sure he would find it funny. He might think I was having a pop at him about that, so I will wait until we have been seeing each other a bit longer
He and the girls are going to that babys funeral today. I dont think my girls have ever been to a funeral before.
I remember the year we got married (1995), I had never been to a wedding or a funeral and suddenly we had 3 deaths in the family and 4 weddings! First Andys Aunty got married in May, then his cousins in August, then his mother re-married in September, we had his grandmothers funeral in November and our wedding in December.
I joked with him that it was exactly like the film, four weddings and a funeral - LOL!
Ive not been to anything like that since, and the girls were born after, so this is their first ever attendance at a funeral. I will be interested to know how it went.
I developed a really interesting theory in 1995 and 96 about birth and death, too.
Andys grandma died first, in October 95 and I was at that time expecting DD1, so I said to Andy that I bet our baby will be a girl because his grandma was a girl. He just kinda laughed at me. Sure enough, we had a girl.
Then my dad died in November 95 and my sister was expecting her first baby, so I said I bet that one is a boy, because our dad was one. She had a boy - Ian.
Then Andys great-grandmother died and Andys cousins were pregnant, so I said that one is a girl because we've just lost your great-grandma. They had a girl - Katherine.
Then his uncle died aged only 68, and the cousins were expecting again, almost straight after Katherine was born, so I said they will have a boy because your uncle has just died. They had a boy - Zachary.
Then my grandmother had heart failure and was thankfully revived, but I was pregnant at the time and said to Andy, she will go back to God in a few months time and we will have another girl because she's female - I was right, she died later and I had a girl.
So I came up with the theory that when someone dies, someone of the same sex as that person is born into the family to balance things out.
Anyhow, sorry for rambling about nothing, and nothing to do with DB'ing - I am ill with a really bad cold and not working so trying to pass the time with pointless chit chat, LOL.
Considering my latest "I'd have a baby with you" antics perhaps that means we'd have a boy since my Dad died. That would be nice...another boy.
I like the theory, but perhaps it's only applicable to the family surrounding Jo.
Hope you get to feeling better. You haven't posted much about recent interactions with Andy. Do you have contact fairly frequently now or intermittently? Do you call/IM/e-mail him? I'm just trying to get a sense that when things seem like they are going good if you continue to lay back and let him do the work.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Maybe it is only in my family Whenever someone dies, someone else announces they are pregnant, and I just find it funny, as if it's part of a divine plan
I think that thing you said to your XW is really romantic, but probably a little crazy, LOL.
I follow the same rules with Andy regardless of whether he is interested or not. I don't call him - ever, and I don't suggest meeting him. I leave it to him to chase me.
I did put him back on msn messenger (at his request) and we have chatted on that 2 or 3 times in the last few days. He instigated 2 of those convos and I instigated 1. He is still not able to email me as he has been blocked since last April and is staying blocked, and in fact I told him he is staying blocked until we move in together, LOL.
He did email me through different addresses so I blocked off about 4 of them, LOL, and he gave up in the end.
I just go about my usual life and when he's here I am welcoming and when he suggests things, I usually agree. That's how I manage it.
I am seeing him tomorrow.
I still feel awful and in fact am going to lie down in a minute.
Well, Andy just text me asking if I would look after the girls between 9 and 2 tomorrow.
I felt a bit niggled that when I asked to have them, he said no and was going on about how I have 'no authority' with them, yet now he needs help and there's no OW, I am suddenly good enough.
I wanted to say no because of that, but realised that me and the girls would miss out if I did, so I said yes. I fought back my resentment and didn't even let him know I feel resentment.
We (me, him and girls) also made plans to have dinner together tomorrow evening. I really hope this goes okay!
I have a really heavy cold and feel awful so I hope I am recovered for them all by the morning.
I'm glad you fought back the resentment. It was part of the price he paid for giving up the OW....he now has to rely on you from time to time. He should get used to it.
I hope you feel better by tomorrow and enjoy the time with your girls.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
