Last night (Sat p.m.), W left me a message, absolutely irate: "the dryer does not work at all. Call me when you get this and we are going to get on-line and order a new dryer, and I want it delivered in a couple of days."
I called W back and she immediately launched into a accusatory tirade of how I've always neglected her, how I couldn't even get her a new dryer like she wanted and had to try and fix the one she had and then speed out of there to run home to my mommy and daddy and help them instead of making sure her dryer worked.
I asked her if she had done any laundry, if the dryer had worked at all. She had dried one load, on the second load, it wouldn't start.
I asked how she could be angry at me for not fixing the dryer when it was working when I left. W replied that this just wasn't working out and she wanted a D.
The conversation went round and round a couple of times, including me hanging up on W and her calling me back at least three times. Finally I answered the phone talking - which was the only way I could get to say anything.
I said, "This is extremely difficult for me, since I'm so far away and not able to fix this. I'm doing what I can, driving 5 hours round trip to take care of you and the kids and fix the dryer, and now it's broken again and you won't even talk to me about what might be wrong, you just make me feel like my efforts don't matter."
W replied that all she wanted was my money and health insurance, that she would take of everything on her own. I told her she would eventually also have to take care of paying for everything she was buying on credit.
The conversation went from bad to worse. W told me she was going to the court house on Monday to file D. I told W I would be up tomorrow to get the kids and bring them to live with me. After W told me she was embarassed to be married to a farmer, and all I was doing was running back to my mommy and daddy; I sarcastically agreed that I did run back to my parents, and why didn't she do the same thing. W hung up on me. (W's father disowned her when she was 16, and W has "disowned" her mother as part of her recovery from her emotionally abusive childhood)
I eventually called back and S13 answered. I worked with him to troubleshoot the dryer and determined the motor had seized up. Found out that W was eve's dropping on our conversation, and told W and/or S13 to call me Sunday after they got home from church.
I'm ready to quit. I feel like W brings out the worst in me. That our relationship is based on W trying to make me feel worse than she feels, and I take it as long as I can until I break and say something that emotionally destroys W.
Really, what's the point? Am I just pretending to be married by letting W make me feel miserable when I should be determinedly focused on applying the LRT?
No contact at all would be better than these backslides of angry replies.
