Cemar, Cemar, I got bad news for you pal. You aren't going to change her into the HD wife you think you want. Not happening, so get that out of your mind. Yes, she might...MIGHT...change herself, but that isn't going to happen either unless you reinvent yourself or she finds someone more accepting of her (in which case you wouldn't be the beneficiary), and even then it is a long shot.
So instead, you need to begin to accept her as she is. You both need to start talking to one another so that you can get to know each other's deepest feelings. With that sharing you can grow to appreciate each other, and from there you'll get a mutual reaching out to meet the other's needs. You are not going to get there without hard work and some baring of your soul. She might or might not follow, but since you are the one voicing your unhappiness, it is incumbent upon you to get the ball rolling. I'd say forget about the sex for now, and start talking. Have you scheduled your WWME weekend yet? Are you seeing a counsellor to help you reinvent yourself? Have you talked to her about seeing a marriage counsellor?
Bottom line, Cemar, is I'll bet that she is every bit as lonely and frustrated as you are. You two are probably speaking different languages and neither of you is making any attempt to LISTEN to the other. It is time for you to sh!t or get off the pot. What happens is totally up to you, but you have to be a real man and make it start to happen. I've watched your posts for about a year now, and you've yet to let us know what, if anything, you've done to change things. It makes us think that you are just a whining sissy that is afraid of even saying anything to your wife. Heck, Lilli even posited that you are really a handful of frat brothers at Yale having fun with the bb. Tell us it isn't so, Cemar!
