I really think that blackfoot's (and Nopkins') suggestions about "confidence" are very important to you and me; if not to improve the quality of our marriages, then to improve the quality of ourselves.

actually removing insecurity is more important to the quality of a marriage then having confidance. That goes for both spouses. when something happens that touch our insecurity we react with negative expressions (defensiveness, anger, withdrawal) because we fear that place and since we know our spouse best we touch their insecurity in retailiation, back and forth.

Since women'generally' are more emotional, when a guy is insecure, she picks that up from his body language and it turns her off

If you start expressing yourself verbally and physically with confidance, you can turn her back on.
If you arent congruent, are faking, verbally confidant but not physically, because we vibe our emotions out there thru body language, she will read it in an instant.

If its a recent change you have made, she isnt going to just believe what you tell her. she is going to test, and if they are positive she will come out a little more each time.

Ive been saying she but the last part goes both ways of course.


Sounds weird I know, but confidance comes from doing things that take courage, so a person can be secure in them self, but still not have confidance.

CeMar if I were you and she really said whenever you want, I would go take that book from her, toss it across the room, throw her over my shoulder and carry her to the bedroom, and I would keep doing that on a regular basis till she connected me with those good feelings, instead of allowing her to continue associating those feeling to those books.

Or take her to a nice hotel restauarnt, book a room,
carry her thru the doorway, throw her on the bed, and attack her in every position you can think of.

Thats just me. I know, you want her to attack you. I remember.

You have to act attractive, for her to be attracted.


LFL in your post where you posted about what you like physically, and how your husband is not that you stated exactly what I meant when I said
" not the hottest, but hot enough."
You took the long female version to explain yourself and spare his feelings. I took the short to the point guy version, meant what I said,-- but was subject to female filtering.