Quote: I really believe that she sees sexuality as something that YOUNG people have, not middle aged people.
I think this is the root of the problem. This is the basis for the "bait and switch" CeMar talks about. When they got married, they were young, and she considered sexual behavior appropriate. Now they're older (I forget how old) and she considers it inappropriate-- although she is still willing to ML when he wants to, she considers it inappropriate for her to have sexual feelings.
I personally don't think it's anything CeMar is doing or not doing. Just like with me, karen, IHJ, etc., if someone isn't willing to be open to his or her sexuality, I don't think there's much an outsider can do-- even if the outsider is the partner. The LD person can "go along" with what you want, but that self-generated interior desire has to be discovered on his/her own, inside him/herself. Like the way cinemanymph discovered it inside her-- it wasn't anything her H did that changed her. She changed herself. Until Mrs. CeMar is willing to go inside and relocate her sexuality, it's going to stay missing.
Regarding sexuality in the young and old-- I can admire a perfect body on a younger guy, but for real sexiness, it's got to be an older man. And I felt that way when I was younger, too. CeMar, how does your wife regard someone like Sean Connery? To me he is much sexier now than he was in his James Bond days... and someone like Brad Pitt can't even begin to match his appeal.
And what about the old guys who truly aren't physically attractive but radiate sex appeal, like Gene Hackman, Clint Eastwood, Robert DeNiro, Morgan Freeman, Harrison Ford, Samuel L. Jackson, Patrick Stewart... Even Jason Alexander, Bill Murray, and Chow Yun Fat (who played with Jodie Foster in "Anna and the King") have that special "something."
CeMar, if your W likes romance, has she seen The Bridges of Madison County-- one of the most romantic movies ever made (and a gigantic improvement over the book). There was Clint Eastwood looking every bit his age and very sexy.
