Your W's definition of sexy is certainly not being helped by those romance novels, Cemar. Ripped abs, Fabio hair, you know the type.
Hard to live up to that, right?
I'm sure women can relate to this problem as well. 45 year old guys looking at too much Playboy and wanting a 21 year old double d blonde. Ugh.
As a brainy brunnette myself , I am typically attracted to intelligent, funny, sexy, confident guys who are usually on the tall side with dark hair and eyes.
While my H is intelligent and funny, I would not say he is necessarily sexy or confident. Only a few inches taller than me (I'm 5'7"). And, he has dark blonde hair and blue eyes.
Almost every other person I have dated has been the typical macho tall dark and handsome type. H is an anomoly.
Still love him though despite going against my "type." It's what is inside the person that is more important than the physical appearance. H is definitely making improvements in the sexy/confidence dept. so we are at least on the right track
Maybe you should ask your W, Cemar, what it is she loves about you, both physically and personality wise. I'd be interested to here what it is you love about Her as well. Do Tell!