lou there are defintely person differences not just gender. There is no 1 size fits all. You have to deal with they person in the sitch not the sitch. Hence the very reason we are all waiting for CeMar to Pipe up about himself. and you ladies are cluttering up his thread again. Things seem to be going well in GEL land, I liked that you laughed at the sitch instead of retailiating about something so insignificant as counter tops. getting honesty from your spouse is so crucial, how can you make plans, make changes,deal with anything if they arent honest? Lil that guy was a well trained WUSS. CLASS A. who was he I want to smack the wuss out of him.
Jen you are a fireball, I dont intend double meanings except when I do... But the things you ladies get in a lather about are just me typing faster then I think. Wow. either I am a REALLY fast typer or really DUMB. This is the real me. let me try to rephrase it. You cant try to be confidant, I could tell a guy what to say to meet a girl but if he walks up, eyes darting about, hands shaking, shoulders slumped, it doesnt matter what he says he is dead. Now the guy GEL described as oozing confidance could walk up to almost any female and she is going to be intrigued without him saying a word.
I dont try to appeal. I know that women are attracted to the qualities that are opposite of theirs, which means I just have to be me. A man. Can men kill the attraction? yeah we do all the time. By acting like a woman, too nice, or acting with negative traits like anger, resentment, jealousy, overbearing. Still men with these traits will attract more women then the nice one. You guys got it easy. All you have to do is stand there and wiggle your jiggly parts.
Im kidding. read my sig. Oh and Jen. If I hurt your feelings I am so very very sorry. Will you please forgive me? I cant imagine going on with you angry at me. Its tearing me up inside. Please? First tarzan, now spiderman? I dont want to know what you got tingling, TMI.
chrissy
If you consider as a male you are better equiped to give a another person female insight and perspectives then those who are female I think that a little illogical but okay
exactly right It is illogical. Honestly you are one of the rare few women that is able to verbalize exactly what makes her attracted to her M. You also never come yelling and hollering, just with mild amusement.
I know jen wants to know where I get this from but not right now its not important to CeMars thread. The ladies will have to whip out their Preperation H to deal with the inflamation, or ignore me. I havent seen chocolate eyes, or HD or some of the other guys around. Why not?
Did any of you ladies find it strange that CeMar and WB both responded the same way to my question on attraction. Have you thought of asking your H's the same to see what they say. I fear for your disappointment though.
the question was-- Do you think you are attractive. So I know I am valid in trying to get the guys to express themselves in a way that women will like, rather then how they currently are.
Quote: You should be so appreciative that she is willing to have sex whenever you want. You have no idea how much she loves you to do that. One key to happiness is being happy with what we have, while we work towards what we want. Be grateful.
I gotta keep riminding myself of this. Intellectually, I know my W loves me. Sometimes I just have a hard time getting past the showing desire in a way that is meaningful to me, and she has been trying hard to do this.
OK, GGB look around at what you have and learn to treasure it. Stop looking at the neighbor's grass, it only looks greener because it is growing in a pile of sh!t. Maybe concentrating on the good things is a way to get those loving feelings back. HP, you reading this too?
Just thought I'd chime in regarding the attractiveness: From my perspective, a woman's confidence and her apparent happiness carry a ton more weight than her physique does, A happy confident woman can look quite attractive regardless of her 'looks'. Don't get me wrong, looks play a decent sized role in the initial attraction, especially if she isn't as confident as she could be. Me, I'm a sucker for a pretty face, so I guess you could say that is the most important physical attribute for me. I also prefer taller women, about 5'9 or taller.
Anyway, I digress, My thought is the physical attraction is what gets the ball rolling, but as we grow together, the physical becomes less important: an emotional connection seems to make the flaws in her physique blend into the background.
Regarding chasing young women, well yeah, they are attractive...until you spend a few minutes talking to them and realize that there is no shared history. If I were looking, I'd be looking for someone close to my own age (I'm 44)...someone who grew up in the 60's and 70's, someone I could relate to. Sorry, I just wouldn't be interested past the obvious eye candy in someone who would not be able to relate to my past.
GGB- Glad to see men find confidence and happiness as, if not more, attractive than physical appearance. Back in the day, I worked with this guy who was a little short, overweight, etc but oozed confidence. I was VERY attracted to him. But like you, I'm still a sucker for a pretty face. Well, arms are really my weakness but I digress. The age factor is also important. I think it was Lil? who mentioned dating someone 63 when she was 35. I couldn't imagine that. I also couldn't imagine dating someone 21 right now either. I think a 10 year span is my limit. But, to each his own.
Maybe the question we should ask Cemar (and others) is how attractive are you to your spouse ?
I might be gorgeous, but if my H doesn't find me attractive because I have no sense of humor or I'm a ditzy blonde and he's now into brainy brunettes, what good are looks?
So, how attractive are you to the Mrs? When was the last time you made her laugh? My H might swear that he loves me more than anything in the world, but he can't even be NICE to me. I'll take an average looking guy with a bit of a beer belly if he can make me laugh over 6'2", blue eyed blonde with a bad attitude any day. Yes, and confidence is one of the most attractive traits anyone can have, dontcha think?
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
I am VERY confident about my looks. But my wife sees 25 year old men with ripped abs as sexy, and sees 45 year old men as DADS, like we are non-sexual things. I really believe that she sees sexuality as something that YOUNG people have, not middle aged people.
Quote: I havent seen chocolate eyes, or HD or some of the other guys around. Why not?
Hey pal, I've been actually working, for a change. In fact, I have to work even harder today and tomorrow, then I'm out of town until next week. I guess you'll have to entertain the ladies in my absence.
CeMar: On my darker days, I hear your voice in my head asking me if there is ANY possibility of "connection" with my W. I don't have all of the same problems you face, but I occasionally feel the way you do about the utter futility of it all. I really think that blackfoot's (and Nopkins') suggestions about "confidence" are very important to you and me; if not to improve the quality of our marriages, then to improve the quality of ourselves.
Your W's definition of sexy is certainly not being helped by those romance novels, Cemar. Ripped abs, Fabio hair, you know the type. Hard to live up to that, right? I'm sure women can relate to this problem as well. 45 year old guys looking at too much Playboy and wanting a 21 year old double d blonde. Ugh. As a brainy brunnette myself , I am typically attracted to intelligent, funny, sexy, confident guys who are usually on the tall side with dark hair and eyes. While my H is intelligent and funny, I would not say he is necessarily sexy or confident. Only a few inches taller than me (I'm 5'7"). And, he has dark blonde hair and blue eyes. Almost every other person I have dated has been the typical macho tall dark and handsome type. H is an anomoly. Still love him though despite going against my "type." It's what is inside the person that is more important than the physical appearance. H is definitely making improvements in the sexy/confidence dept. so we are at least on the right track Maybe you should ask your W, Cemar, what it is she loves about you, both physically and personality wise. I'd be interested to here what it is you love about Her as well. Do Tell!
, I am typically attracted to intelligent, funny, sexy, confident guys who are usually on the tall side with dark hair and eyes. 