blackfoot, I enjoy your posts, too, but I have never made the guy responsible for my o. The concept of a guy "giving me an o" is completely foreign to me. When I start ML the way it works for me is I decide at the beginning, or somewhere along the way, if I'm willing to bring the "focus" needed for me to o. If I want an o, he can stimulate me orally or manually (doesn't happen from ic alone), or I do myself manually. If I'm not interested in an o, then none of that figures in, and it's still pleasant. The o is not something he keeps in a box under the bed and dispenses to me when he feels it's appropriate. I've always felt this way, ever since my first marriage in 1972... I was surprised to read later and hear that men made themselves responsible for the woman's o.
I do understand crazy's point about sex (esp early on) being about "proving something," i.e., am I attractive, amd I hot, am I the "best s/he's ever had." I had a thread on that topic once that asked if, even in marriage, is sex sometimes about "scoring"?
