Quote: I actually lose respect for myself by having sex with someone that does not want me.
Cemar: Don't lose respect for yourself for having sex with your wife even if she doesn't get into it. For your sake, your doing what it takes to keep the two of you glued together. That alone deserves respect. Having sex with your wife should help you want to keep your sex life at home. By having sex with your wife even if she is not passionate, still makes the statement that you and her being together is right for the both of you. And her going along with it is agreeing with that statement.
As for her being willing to have sex with you any time you say "let's go for it" and the fact that she's not really into it says WAY MORE about her feelings for YOU than if she was just really horny herself. If she was really horny like some of the HD women on the board here get, she'd be doing the act for more mutual reasons than a LD spouse who's doing it because that's what their S wants. When your spouse goes along with ML and does not really want to be doing so, it is a much greater AOS than doing it with a HD spouse that is horny all the time. She is telling/showing you that she cares for YOU much more than a HD spouse who is just much more into the sex.
Life is full of compromises, Cemar. There's an old expression, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Lou would probably be able to give you a more literal translation of what that is supposed to mean. But to me it means that you shouldn't turn away a good thing just because it rates a 9.5 and you were looking for a 10.
Try to drop your own resistance to making your marriage a positive force in your lives. Make the most of it while you still are able. Life is too short to spend much time agonizing over minor details.
In closing, did you ever see the movie, "Grumpy Old Men"? In it John Gustavson's father, played by Burgess Meredith, who is in his eighties tells his son, John, played by Jack Lemmon, "Life is too short. Mount the women" Not only is it a classic line, it is perfect 20/20 hindsight. Some day you will regret the time you spent worrying about whether or not she was really into it INSTEAD of mounting her.
