CeMar!!
This is the longest, inner view post I have ever seen.
Sweet.
You can ask them to have sex, but there is no way to ask for ML. Absolutely true. Thank you for stating the obvious. (Do you mind if I call you Captain Obvious. With respect of course.)

You have stated somewhere that your W will give you sex whenever you want. At some level she has a lot of love for you if it is something she does not want to do and or is not enjoying. That counts for something. Sh!t that counts for a ton. I bet there are hookers who wouldnt have sex with your cranky old ass. Many guys dont even have this much wiggle room, because of either resentment or abuse.

she allows you to please her? Does she climax? It is impossible to get a sense of your relationship with her. I havent seen any mention of conversations you have or activitis you engage in.
All I pick up is your seething mass of resentment and frustration and wanting other people to say that the situation is hopeless and unsolvable. It will continue to be as long as that is your mindset. Reading a book and thinking she should be doing x, or y or z won't. Does anyone here know of any DB'ing Cemar has used to work on this.

Can you just turn off your resentment, Captain Obvious? If so please do. (I'm busting your balls dude. Damn I am funny. ) Can you just turn off your frustration?

Then how can a female LD just turn on their feeling to ML?