New to Forum - Help and advise, please

[BeingMe]

I am sorry, Gwynn, but I feel if your H was really sorry for the betrayal, then he would put up with the angry outbursts. Eventually, the anger does dissipate, but it is, I feel, perfectly normal. It would, of course, be better for you to not have them. I finally realised that the anger just doesn't get me anywhere, and that it was clouding my vision of what I wanted from life, with or without my H. It seems you need to get to that place, of self control, and seeing clearly what you want from life, and being happy with yourself.

Maybe you could set some goals for yourself. Simple ones, for instance, you could set a goal of sitting outside everyday and enjoying the outdoors for an hour and not think about your M, but about other aspects of your life(we are more then our marriages or our feelings for our husbands). Or, a goal of breathing deeply when you feel the anger coming on (that helped me). These are just examples which you can use if you like, but I am sure you can come up with some goals that suit your personality. If I remember correctly, I set about 10 goals for myself in the beginning, and I am still following many of them.

Try and take each moment as it comes, and live in that moment. Godd luck, and I will be thinking of you.