Quote: I just had a talk with my daughter (23), pre-med, very practicle in her thinking and very wise for her age (I'm proud of her, okay). Anyway, she told me that she cannot stand my H (her stepdad), does not trust him, nor wants anything to do with him. She further said that when she has children, she would NEVER allow her child to be in the same room with him because she thinks he is a pervert. By the way, she thought this about him before I married him, not sure why other than she thinks he is sneeky and has a warped sense of life. However, she accepted him because I loved him. One more thing I have to add, HIS children said that they don't trust him either, he says one thing and does another.
I think their opinion is less biased than yours.
As for the reason for the affair? Let's see:
- He's afraid of getting older and being with someone so young gave him the illusion of immortality. - He's afraid of commitment and backed away from the intimacy of being married by jumping into bed with someone else. - He's been unfaithful all along, this is just the first time he's gotten "emotionally involved" (Maybe he's hiding his finances etc. because you would find out about other activities?). - He's too weak to be in an equal relationship with a woman and so picked someone younger who would "look up to him"? - He's a manipulative pervert who preyed on a vulnerable woman in her time of need, because he could (listen to your daughter!).
Whatever it is, it seems pretty clear that, while we all have our faults, this was about HIM, not you. You have no reason to beat yourself up or feel ashamed. You made a bad choice, and wanted to believe in him so badly that you ignored the warning signs before you married him. You're human, that's all.
