Yes, we're taking a break. I moved out and I've been gone for about 4 months because when I'm with him I cause the R to disintergrate more than what it is. I have angry outbursts (totally distructive according to DR - yes, I have the book), but for some reason I cannot control it when I'm with him. I know that I am holding on to a grudge, but I am so humilitated, embarrassed (the OW was 20 years young than him and very unattractive) and I let him know every chance that I have to tell him how disgusted I am with him. How important is my H? Well, when I try to see my future without him, I don't think I'll be any more happy, when I try to see my future with him, I am not happy either. Years to fix this? So basically, I have to endure all of this for years? Wouldn't it be more simple, maybe less painful, to cut my losses and go. Remember, I don't have years of a marriage, only 1 year. I'm not a young woman so I don't want to waist a lot of time.
The thing is, my H is very remorseful, he has done everything I've asked him to do and yet, I'm so full of rage, anger and the need to "get even" overwhelms all the good. I know that I must control this and Lord knows that I try, but for some reason, I am out of control. I'm growing weary and so is my H. I guess that's why I posted what I posted, maybe I'm not the type of person that can move beyond the A. How do you know if you can?
