“Sorry but I do not feel this entitles you to diagnose another person. Though you may have first hand experience dealing with a person with this disorder it gives you no experience in detecting it in others. Just because a symptom appears simular it may have several different causes.”
On the contrary, I believe I have a very good knowledge of narcissism, a first hand lifetime experience. I believe researchers and authors on the subject will have similar experience coupled with formalized study. They are certainly more knowledgeable than I, but I do not think that lessens my experience.
I am very careful to state that “I think” or “I believe” or “I feel” to be sure not to make my comments sound like a guarantee. If someone wants to read more into my statements, there is little I can do. This is a public board and as such all statements are opinions only.
“I read I believe on Honeypots thread that you like to look for patterns. I understand that but I think you are doing more then that when you project in words what you find as a diagnosis. You do not say I think it is possible that so and so may have xxxxx You say IMO. As Gel said on Globes thread others who are desperately seeking help/advice/guidence may see some simularities in what you say to fit there self or spouse and then run full throttle with it.”
The field of psychology is nothing more than opinion and statistical sampling. The reason for the sampling is there is no way to know the true population and the underlying trend. The social sciences, even economics, are based on guesses and estimates. There are no “hard” answers like in mathematics, physics or chemistry. So even the “experts” do not know. Secondly, those very experts do just that – look for patterns, i.e., correlations between their assumptions and observations. How does one differentiate true narcissism from simple arrogance? Can it be measured and weighed? It cannot. Classification is based on a defined set of rules. But how are those rules set? And how is the evaluation made whether the condition satisfies the rules or not? It is all subjective and open to different interpretation. There is no right answer. This is the nature of the beast.
I believe what you may have issue with is my style of writing. I use a formal/professional grammatical style. That is my preference. Others here use a more familiar, informal style. I do not favor this, but I can understand how the contrast makes mine sound more “clinical” and therefore gives an air of certainty. I’m sorry if that bothers you, but that is me.
“This amateur labling of people may become detrimental to there sitch. We are here to help each other and give each other advice but not medical advice though at times we may suggest someone look into a medical condition. But none of us here to my knowledge hold the degrees it requires to slap a lable on another person.”
I have several times stated my background, education and qualifications, short of posting a resume. (I am preparing an in depth description of myself and my situation.) I see nothing wrong with some labeling. I also think it helps in describing and differentiating one characteristic versus another. I try to explain my thoughts as clearly as I can and avoid as much ambiguity as I can. I try to use examples when I can think of one to help get my point across. One way of stating something may go right past someone, but may ring a bell with someone else. This is all part of the art of communication, creating a resonance and getting across your message. In this way I am trying to help others too.
“And again I state I do not feel your idea of BF condition is all that accurate.I have read two articles on web md since you suggested this and still do not feel it fits BF IMO. And it is not because he has manipulated me into adoration for him. I love his banter with others and he can bemuse me at times but he did not manipulate me to make me feel this way. It is not the presentation that he comes off with that holds my attention it is the underlying meaning of what he is saying that captivates me.”
I do not have a crystal ball and can only state what I think and feel from reading this computer screen. I am not an “expert” in psychology. Feel free to disagree, Blackfoot disagrees with me. I have no problem with that. Build your case, support your opinions, and I will buy it. I am only doing the same, then I lay it out for others to critique. You decide whether to accept it or not.
And there is nothing wrong with chasing down a dead end. I have done that plenty of times. While it may not pertain to what I am researching, I still learn from it. The incentive to not make excessive false statement is loss of credibility. If you think I have fallen into that hole, then disregard me. But I will continue to do the best I can.
Blackfoot,
Sorry to have not responded yet. I am working on my sitch.
