Now don’t go thinking like that. You might hurt yourself. Think of it more like two kids trying to outdo each other in thinking up the best put-down. More of a competitive thing. I really have little interest in your Y chromosome.
In response to Chrissy’s questions, looking into Vaknin’s site gives a lot of information. But one thing I learned is that narcissism does not mean one is filled with self-love and arrogance. The definition is broader to include a denial of self and projection of a false self to oneself and others. This could mean arrogance and egotism. It could also mean timidity and rescuing. In either case, the person could be projecting a false self to cover up personal weakness and conflicts.
I also understand that this is only the first step in the personality disorder continuum. The extreme involves a complete break with reality in the form of schizophrenia. But I must correct myself from my earlier post. I must not accuse Blackfoot of being a narcissist, but only of having narcissistic tendencies. All of us have some elements of this. A healthy dose of self confidence, even a little arrogance is needed for positive self image.
Where I make a distinction with Blackfoot is that he seems to be VERY calculating in his evaluation of women and how he can get through their barriers, all for the sole purpose of attracting them. He also seems to revel in their adoration. As I see things (and I am not a psychologist or psychic) manipulation is the telling factor. People do this for different reasons, and to varying degrees, but excessive manipulation speaks to a need to control. And from my readings, control can only be due to two things – to protect oneself from either fear or abandonment.
The theme I get from Blackfoot is that his world turns on his ability to manipulate people and project this aura of total confidence. This is a very conscious and rehearsed act, as Blackfoot has all but admitted himself. Narcissists need some form of adoration. They can brag on themselves, but isn’t it so much better, and more sophisticated, to have others brag on you for you? The trick is to do those special things for others that will endear them to you. They will then do the praising for you. You rub my back, I’ll rub yours. Read up on Vaknin’s theory of “narcissistic supply”. Its very interesting.
To me, all the pieces fit, so I called it as I saw it. Cobra
