But, we all want "intense love" as you stated and I think it IS possible to gain that with someone even though major hurts have been experienced. In fact, the hurts can make the R that much more
I agree wholeheartedly that it can. Unless it takes away from a persons part of there core self. If you have to give up some of who you are and believe in how intense can it be with a part of you missing? Now if you find what you believe in may have been a ill founded belief that is different that is changing what you believe in evolving and growing not giving up what you believe in.
It is obviously something they, and not any of us, can determine
Agreed
I don't think Blackfoot would be on this board if he did not have some hope to mend the R/M.
Though this could be true there is another reason he could be here. To mend himself. To help himself work through the residual emotional pain that is left over from this relationship. DBing is not only about fixing a broken marriage. It is about learning how we got here so we do not repeat the same behaviors later. It shows us how to improve ourselves and accept that fact that is the only thing we have control of is ourselves and our part in the relationship.
