Just a quick question you just recently decided enough with the OM. That working on your R with H was more important then what OM in your life provided you with. What if you had not made that choice. You choose to keep other man in your life. Then say 6 months down the line you all of a sudden decided to try at your marriage again. Would you expect your H to be open to trying again? To take a thrid go around at the situation not knowing for sure if other man was going to stay out of the picture this time.
Your situation was not based on lies. BF's was and for a person who values honesty and trust above all (which I am assuming BF does by some comments he has made). Compromising that value is compromising a element of your own self respect. Empowering someone else to what you hold sacred as people should there own self respect is not benifical and can even cause damage to ones self perception. Though sad as it may seem because it is apparent that BF loved/loves his wife very much and at one time there seemed to a very powerful love involved. The chance of recapturing that love is at what cost to BF. A great one if it takes him from being a person who totally believes in Honesty and Trust to one who is always aware there may be hidden meanings and thoughts behind his wifes actions this breeds suspision and insecurity and is not that same love he had previously. I don't believe BF is shallow enough to live that type of love. I believe he has a need for intense love. Which once experienced leaves all other forms somewhat lacking. So more then a want to just protect himself from future hurt. I think he is aware he and his wife will never re-establish the type of relationship that thye had previously and it will always be less fufilling and that would create a saddness.
I like that BF is holding to his beliefs. That he is not willing to compromise what he values. He is not willing to settle for almost and wants it all. He has balls others including myself lack.
Life is shorter then you know. His sitch is less complicated then others since there are no children involved. He has the chance to chase his dreams and catch them. I say go for it don't settle for a blue car when you really wanted a silver one go to another dealership and another until you find the one that fits and are satisfied to drive around for the rest of your life.
