Quote: --Side bar to LFL, since finding our your H is a phsycologist, his apparent lack of anger, resentment, over your OR is perfectly understandable to me. Your perception of him being emotionally indifferant, I would see as his efforts towards control. as guys we have to show emotions for a women to be connected to us, but be in control of them for a women to feel secure. ( I will never forget OG LOU's tossing dinner as a perfect example of this,) IT is a freaking hard line, that you ladies want us to walk.!!
Great points Blackfoot. It is all about control for H. Both of us know where this stems from. His mother is a real battle-ax and you were NOT allowed to express feelings in his household growing up, at least not negative feelings. And if you went directly against what she said, prepare for WWIII.
I'm sure his father left his mother for the same reason. She gave everyone in that household the smackdown (no physical violence, but torturous silences and guilt trips). The funny thing is she comes off sweet as pie to the "outside" world but within the family everyone walks on eggshells around her.
So, this was his main female role model growing up. He learned quickly to surpress feelings with women and maintain control. And here we are today. Old habits die hard, even for a psychologist who really knows better.
I'm the youngest of six kids. My family was the opposite of H. Loud and boisterous. His was always quiet and reserved. He's a WASP to the core. Also the oldest child (of 2). I guess opposites do attract.
I always find people's family history fascinating. I'd like to hear more about your own family Blackfoot. (If you are willing to share). Do you think yours "clashed" in any way with W family. I remember you saying you hated living with them. In-law problems can be a huge problem in a M. Just curious.
