Good point on the "backwards rationalizing". I think you are on to something there. Still, my thoughts and feelings are real in the moment and at this moment I'm still pessimistic.
In fact, I'm not sure I even want to be M anymore. To anyone. Too much work. Too much heartache. Too much BS. See what kind of mood I am in
I think I would be perfectly happy taking a "lover" and when he start to drive me crazy, make me bored, etc LOL, I would just dump his azz and get me a newer model. Lots of people do it. I already have my kids, I have a job. I don't need a H anymore, right? Why put up with all this crap? Life would be more exciting, passionate, interesting. Now, it's "What's for dinner?", "What time do I pick up DS DD from school?" "What's on tv tonight?" Ugh. I'm in DOMESTIC HELL!
