Chrissy thanks... I think... your post is so spot on, I dont even know what to say. It hit in so many undefendable areas, ones that kept me awake for months during our first seperation.
Are you talking to my x? Do I know you from somewhere?
one reason I took all the blame is because of my education on this stuff.(another is because its easier to fix something you own.) Was I expecting her to be super-woman? Was I testing her in the most ridiculous situation, with a guy who would go to the time and effort to actually pull it off. It wasn't conscious, but inevitable it sure became.

Quote:

I just wonder if the only true error within your marriage was based on a simple egotistical oversight that lead to a deadly domino effect.




You have succintly stated the same conclusion I have come to. Its hard enough to forgive myself for the confusion and depression and pain she is in because of it. I was supposed to care for and protect her. Wow. did I fail. Her family updates me, and when I see her I can tell she isnt eating well enough or sleeping.
She has asked "If I knew he was like that why did I take her there." she was going thru my emails during our reconciliation, and saw something about it. But of course this irritates me because she still has feelings for him, and went back after I slipped up.
How do I close Pandora's box? I expected her to make a choice about love like a man does, yet I didnt act like a man by allowing someone to pursue my wife unchallanged.I acted like a cocky a$$hole. I guess my punishment is my losses.

Like HairDog said Ill be fine I am young.

Thanks for pointing out what a egotistical jerk I am to everyone else here Chrissy. j/k It is something I am working on. Between you and LFL's post today I am understanding where x was coming from now in her insecurity, with me leaving her. I always brushed it and her (mild) jealousy of some of the female friends in our life off, just dismissing them as her problem and her insecurity that she needed to get over.

After all I had married her. Why would she possible think I was going to leave her? It was so obvious to me, why couldnt she see it?

Sigh. I am going to go stuff myself with humble pie now.