Still Yoyo-ing About #3

[yoyogirl]

Deb - Thanks for the long post and the copied advice from Dr. Harley.

YoYo, I so admire your spirit,
I think this was owed in part to OW's eagerness to be the MISSUS... by sending her stuff to H's house, and all. SHe is sooo low and cheap and such a b#tch that it really drove me almost mad!! And really doesn't deserve my H. I know he is a good person (when aliens return his brain) and shouldn't destroy his values with this low life skank. Before my trip to Country X. I never thought about HOLDING on to my H and not letting go. But the night after our big bust-up on Saturday, I woke up in the middle of the night with renewed energy to KEEP my H for myself. Why should I make my H angry with me, and drive him towards the b#tch??? Everytime I am almost sad...I just think of not giving the whore her cake, and I would instantly perk up. As VJ said "NEVER do anything that will make OW HAPPY!". Have to really keep that in mind all the time!!

ow will most likely do herself in
I really hope the above is true. I think most ppl would have thought that I would KICK my H out the moment I find out. I think OW also thought that. My H certainly thought that. Yesterday (Wed), he called my office and we sort of touched on "me making my decision already". For a moment, he thought that I have decided to KICK him out...He he he... I said NO... I will never give up. He was starting to be irritated and boil. But I kept my composure and was really nice and cheeky...and even said ILY. I think he was kinda shocked and confused. I am sure OW or her parents will start pestering H to have D and marry OW... I do have to be patient... I did tell him via text yesterday to take his time, and I won't bug him.

time is on my side...
Version that I have in my mind is the one from the Denzel Washington show...can't remember the title...but about the dark angel that was cast down from heaven...able to pass from one being to another by touch..what was the title? But anyway, the way it was sung..is a little eerie...he he he...
Today, I did text H to tell him that my instinct tells me that he will come running back to me after the aliens have returned his brain back to him. And he said that he knows that too, and that he will do the right thing...just to stop bugging him. Before my trip to Country X. I never thought about HOLDING on to my H and not letting go. But the night after our big bust-up on Saturday, I woke up in the middle of the night with renewed energy to KEEP my H for myself. Why should I make my H angry with me, and drive him towards the b#tch??? Everytime I am almost sad...I just think of not giving the whore her cake, and I would instantly perk up.

H did come over to my mom's today. His mom was there too. Been in cahoots (sic?) with my MIL... so, she has been asking him "when are the boys and I going to Country X to visit you?" H at first told her to come with my SIL..but my MIL was quick to say "She's got her H. SHe won't come. Besides, I want to be with my grandsons..". I think she said a few more times till H was quite fed-up. I've roped in MIL to do the AS-IFs too...as-if that all is fine and that we will be together soon. MIL and I were chatting about my niece, aunts etc etc... H very well knows that his mom will never accept the OW (because of the betrayal by FIL. MIL hates OWs...). After H has gone (he had a work function), my MIL was like "good...make OW jealous. If he is lying to her, like he lied to you..good ....good" She really agreed that I don't budge from being the legal missus. Later, when we were saying the goodbyes, I said that I was gonna go do an errand for H before I head home, and she said "huh? I can't believe you are still doing all these for him! If you were my daughter, I would have scolded you to high heaven."...thought that was rather funny... The less support s/he gets, the better it is for you and him/her and the relationship. Few people remain in the same place if they are not supported in that place. My SILs and aunts on H's side all DO NOT support the A, of course. Neither do our closest friends. So, hopefully, the A will die out soon.

I know my this post is a bit wishy washy.... I have been pestering H to let me stay with him in the hotel since Monday... and he kept on saying NO NO NO. A bit cheesed off.... blah blah blah. Up until this morning, he said we are NOT to have any s#x until he has sorted himself out. ... Guessed what??? We had a real quickie in my mom's house... and then H commented "Why are you sooo h#rny these day? Have troubling handling you!" And after that, again he asked "so, even after two years ...you are not going to sign?" (the D papers). I just shook my head...and he said "Then how?". I answered "I don't know...you sort out". Then H just sat on the couch very quietly...and luckily S5 came to talk to me...so it wasn't that awkward!So, although I've been pursuing in these few days, I don't think there is too many backward steps. SO far no anger (except a little bit this morning, when H told me he cant have dinner, and I sulked a bit - Yup bad YOYO... and he got upset...but then I sent him a text with humour...and he did reply albeit seriously).

WIll continue posting tomorrow...running out of battery on my laptop

[kaydeekay]

Enjoyed reading your post debcb. It made some sense on what was going on with my H.

[kaydeekay]

Yoyo-

H very well knows that his mom will never accept the OW because of the betrayal by FIL. MIL hates OWs

The same goes in my sitch. According to my MIL, my FIL (who is now her XH) was a womanizer. He has remarried and I'm sure he has done this to his second wife (whom I adore). According to my H, his family members on his mom's and dad's side will not have anything to do with OW

It just makes you realize how much the in-laws are in your favor, which is good for us

[kismet]

Hey Yoyo, glad to see you are doing well ~ well a lot better than some of us in certain areas

Up until this morning, he said we are NOT to have any s#x until he has sorted himself out. ... Yeah right. I had to have a little chuckle when I read this. Maybe you could have replied "is that with other people or just with each other". .

Good to see you have M-i-l on your side. Now that is a force to be reckoned with

[debcb]

Hey, YoYo!
I'm glad you mentioned the "AS IF ATTITUDE" post being from Dr. Harley...It was sent to me long ago, and I've always thought it was from him or perhaps his son, but not sure....I've always found it so helpful, still do in fact, and hope maybe others can get as much help from it as i have. It has some very good recommendations, ie, not returning hurt for hurt....meeting needs a little bit at a time, etc.,

Anyway, I had to jump back in when I read your posts!

Why should I make my H angry with me, and drive him towards the b#tch??? Everytime I am almost sad...I just think of not giving the whore her cake, and I would instantly perk up. As VJ said "NEVER do anything that will make OW HAPPY!".

YEP, exactly!!!!! that was part of my inspiration. I used to tell myself, "she may win (sure looked for a while like she had)but its gonna be the most hellish fight she ever had in her life and she will never forget it". Kinda kept my fire lit enough to keep going!

I think most ppl would have thought that I would KICK my H out the moment I find out. I think OW also thought that. My H certainly thought that.

Yep, that's exactly what monster thought and H has told me quite often that he thought that was what I would do too, just say "Ok, whatever, go then" and that would be the end of it/us. hehehehehehehe. As mean spirited as it is, I have to say I take great delight to this day in recalling what H told me about one of monster's temper tantrums, when she pitched a fit that H hadn't moved in with her, screaming and yelling at him that "your wife used the dirtiest trick in the book"! because I didnt throw him out. I guess it drove her absolutely nuts, made her pitch hellish fits of anger, pushing and hitting H, yelling and screaming. oh, darn, did I cause that just by being the person he always wanted?

I am sure OW or her parents will start pestering H to have D and marry OW...

I believe you'd be safe betting the farm on that one!

time is on my side...
Version that I have in my mind is the one from the Denzel Washington show...can't remember the title...but about the dark angel that was cast down from heaven...able to pass from one being to another by touch..what was the title?

oooohhhh, yeah! I forgot about that show, really good and REALLY scary! I think it's called "Fallen"??????? I may have to watch that again. I dont' think H has ever seen it, he's scared to death of scary movies. Go figure.

And he said that he knows that too, and that he will do the right thing...just to stop bugging him

My H said almost the exact same things, I think his words were that he knew it had to end, it was just hard, that I should know he always does "the right thing" because I probably know him better than anyone else on earth, and that I needed to give him space and be patient. Where do these guys buy this script they read?????

he said we are NOT to have any s#x until he has sorted himself out. ...

Darn, YoYo! that sounds like a challenge that needs to be taken on to me!!! Hehehehehe...If nothing else this experience has turned me into a naughty woman! what an opportunity to have some fun with a "ok, what ever you say, look but dont touch" attitude...(and of course a little innocent "flash" now and then, I mean who knows when that thong will ride up, or skirt, or those darn buttons on blouses can sneak right out of the button holes without a person knowing it at the most inopportune times, huh? and then those sexy low-cut bras that slip and slide until who knows what might get seen!!!! I mean, whatever could he be looking at when those "wardrobe malfunctions" happen?????
Of course, it certainly goes along with the great motto "never do anything to make the ow happy"!!! (did I mention I LOVE that?)

[KimDownUnder]

This is oh so true about the OW or at least I have found that in my case. As for H's saying they need space and don't bug me yadda yadda, I too have heard all that before although with me I reached a place where I was at peace with not being with H. I was ready to drop the rope completely.

Even though I still loved him, I didn't love the back and forward between me and OW so I basically told him I was withdrawing for good. Well guess what, that worried him so much b/c he didn't want me out of his life that he finished with OW and we are trying to piece our M back together. Don't know if it will work or not but at least this time it might be a mutual decision if it doesn't work.
Basically just wanted to say ditto to you two girls.

I like your new attitude YoYo keep it up and you will do fine....KDU

[yoyogirl]

Deb - Thanks for the posts. I really do find them useful, and does give me a whole lot of inspiration to continue fighting for my M.... or rather fighting off the OW..LOL.

"..most hellish fight she ever had in her life and she will never forget it". Kinda kept my fire lit enough to keep going!
Ditto...Think it's so much easier to go-on when we take the "emotional bit that we have for our H" out of the way, and focus on the external, i.e OW....

My H said almost the exact same things, I think his words were that he knew it had to end, it was just hard, that I should know he always does "the right thing" because I probably know him better than anyone else on earth, and that I needed to give him space and be patient. Where do these guys buy this script they read?????
I do hope and pray that my H will have the courage and strength to END it with OW, and do the RIGHT THING. I mean deep down, he is a good person and always does the right thing...he's just mis-guided??? As one of my mentors said "he is a boat that has misplaced an oar, and is going round and round in circles. Soon...soon, he'll find the missing oar". SO, keeping my fingers crossed.

I mean, whatever could he be looking at when those "wardrobe malfunctions" happen?????

Deb- I really liked this one. LOL Yes, I agree. This experience has indeed turned me into a naughty woman... HE HE HE. Yes, I've been errr...exposing here and there a little more...he he he.. BUt I have to say the quickie the other day... I didn't have to do anything...I came back from work in a simple tight dress...albeit short. He was the one that suggested it... HE HE HE.

KDK, KISMET, BONKERS, ANNA, KDU - Thanks for checking up on me. SOrry that I didn't acknowledge earlier. Was trying to juggle between posting and working. Bad YOYO, I know. So, will turn to a new leaf and post only at home....

Journalling..
Thursday night...I took H to the station to catch a train. S5 came running out and crying, and said "I want dadddddyyyy!" I am sure that must have pulled H's heartstrings a mighty lot. Anyway, before I went to bed, I texted H, and he called me immediately. We chatted, laughed. So was pleasant.

Next morning... H texted and said that he's leaving for the airport already...He found out his flight to LA was at 5 pm or thereabouts. I called him and we had a short chat. No R talks. Just small talk. So, I did do the "checking bit"...called his mobile about 6 pm..and the phone had a "unreachable message"...so, I guessed he was telling the truth about his flight... Yup...had to check...

So, H is stil in the plane....and would be away for a week. SO, guessed will be calm see for at least a week. FINGERS CROSSED that he will come to his senses??!!?

GOt to go now. Later..

One Day at a TIME!!
It's a bright sunny future!!!

[yoyogirl]

Calm Sea... H did text yesterday and today...nothing much, just the usual "How is everything?" question. No calls yet. Texted that he will call in a couple of days.....

One Day at a TIME!!!