Oh, yoyo, I don't know what to say except your H seems to be so totally confused he doesn't know what he wants, and unfortunately, he is dragging you through this mess with him!
Hang in there, I don't have any perfect advice but maybe detaching a bit isn't a horrible idea...if only to keep yourself on more even ground - let your H ride the roller coaster and you try to stay off the ride for a bit!
