KDU, KDK, Bonkers - Thank you for dropping by. There were some ups and downs, which I will elaborate below.

Journalling..
Friday. Arrived at the airport. Driver picked us up and proceeded to H's office to pick him up for dinner. In the car, saw that he had some brochures from the International School. We had a fairly "normal" dinner. Didn't touch on our R at all. Went back home to H's new pad. Looks nice with a small pool in the backyard. Err.. I did bring up OW abit (Yup..bad bad me but worse is to come on Saturday). I saw that some decor and things in house NOT H at all, and figured OW had something to do with certain things...Asked H about it, and he said NO, she has not been there at all. Answered while grinning, and said that the bed was FRESH and ready for US to use it. And when I queried about US, he said "The fact that I asked you over, meant something isn't it?" Some other convo went on, can't remember what. I was gonna let the boys take turns to sleep with H, but he prompt the boys to sleep on their own, with the intention of you know what with me. We did have a good session After that, we sat in the lounge, had some wine and chatted abit. It was nice.

Saturday...major revelation and argument!!!
H was off VERY early for his golf game and was out till late afternoon. Nevermind that...but I SNOOPED. Yup, bad bad me. Found there were lots of stuff that are female stuff like toiletries. And snooped some-more, found that H actually SHIPPED stuff from OW's house over to Country X because the pick-up address was OW's AND on the packing list was one item listed as "OW's stuff and shoes". I can tell you, I felt sooooooo sad and upset. And WORST. Someone called to the house (to ask about some maintenance stuff for the house) and said "Hello! Is that OW?". My heart nearly stopped!!! I answered "No, this is not OW. This is Mrs.Y. OW is not Mrs. Y. I do not know if OW is moving here, so I do not know how to answer your question about the maintenance items. Perhaps you could call Mr. Y directly and ask him about that." That lady felt soooo bad, and she immediately wanted to come over to meet me, and introduce herself to me. I told her that I'm not sure if I would be the one moving here then...and she can come over if she wants.. She came over, and we had an hour long chat. She told me that OW came over to view the house first, and then later H came with her to view it again. She said she thought that OW was the wife or sister...and she never realised that that's not the case. She was really sorry and "advised" that I should be patient and "wait" for him, because her parents were also divorced due to OWs (she was crying too on this) and to give my M a chance. She said "I give you my card, you can email to me....I mean, I am not trying to be a spy but if there is anything you need, I will try to help!". I don't know if this relevation was GOOD or BAD.....I did cry my eyes out on this day!!! I did send H a text message "SOmeone called the house and addressed me as OW. How nice! I feel so wonderful". H did send reply text messages but never mentioned anything about my text, just the regular "Where r u now? Will be back soon " that kind of thing. Of course I confronted him when he came back. He made comments like "That lady quite dumb" and I answered "Of course she would tell me, since I am the legal wife blah blah blah". I was sooo upset and emotional that I couldn't think straight. Was very confrontational and cold and refusing to ACT AS-IF. (On hindsight..that was stupid). H kept on saying that "can't we be like last night?" and I was like "No"... blabh blah blah. Then at dinner, he was still okay ..but stupid me confronted him again, and he blew UP, really blew up. And then he calmed down again. At night, I was gonna sleep in other room..but boys said they want to sleep together, so all four of us ended up in the same room. Boys on the spare mattresses on the floor, and H and I on the bed. Again, I prodded and ask all sorts of BAD BAD questions. And he was upset again (plus he was tired and sleepy) and said "I can see it now, I will end up with no one at all. Because, I will choose her, and you will not give me the divorce that I want, and then its not fair for her to wait forever as she is not young anymore. I will be soooo hateful of you, I wouldn't want to be with you anymore" , "At first, I was hopeful that our M has a chance, but after today, I am not sure", "I hate it when you keep on saying the ball is in my court. It is not. Because if you don't sign, I can't do anything. So, just stop saying that". blah blah blah...At one point, I said "I am screwed upside down by you and don't even know it" to which H replied "How do you know that she is not screwed upside down too?" So, we went to bed angry and marriage doomed!!!!!

Sunday,
In the morning, H did put his arm on my belly and on my breast (so, not angry anymore??) and then we started again. (Boys have gone out of the room to watch their TV btw) We had a really good good session (looks like we are sorting out marital disputes with s@x??) And it was like yesterday never happened. H then got up to get to the office (yup...even on a Sunday) and said that he will come back to have lunch with us. We went out for lunch at a restaurant, and was really "normal". No mention of yesterday, everything was okay. Then we went home (H's home..our home...) and watched a bit of TV with the boys. I was teasing his fingers and all.. and H jokingly said "How come you never asked me who is better in bed?"
Me: I don't wanna know. I don't wanna know.
H: I told you what...you are very good. I will tell her to come and get some lessons from you.
Me: Yeah...right! I dare you to go and tell her that. If you do, you are really crazy!
We then was kidding around and ended upstairs in bed again! Then it was time to leave for the airport. H decided that he wasn't gonna go with us. Then as I was leaving, I said "Aren't you gonna give me a kiss" and he said "Yes, you come over". I said "No, you come" and he did but only kissed my cheeks, and I said "No lips?" H just laughed and said "No. Text me when u r at the airport"....In the car, had a chat with the driver. Found out that OW brought her parents along to see the house about around Sept 16 - 18. That was the time my SIL got her marriage registered. I can't believe it. Low lifes bring up low lifes. How can the parents condone the R when he is still married? I can't believe these ppl!! Really low lifes with NO Morals whatsoever. Am so disgusted by these ppl. ANyway, H and I had a few exchange of texts. I sent him a text that I said that "hopefully, things will be better in a few months and we can preserve our family unit". H texted back "Like I said...I hope so too. text me when you've arrived". Later, I did text him on arrival and added a "love you". I know it is against DBING LRT, but I think I need to tell him that. I feel that he needs to feel that things can be normal again, that I will still love him. He replied, but just said that he'll call me tmrw and he will see me in a few days (he'll be back here for work).

This morning (Monday):
I texted H about possible dinner at my parent's on Wednesday night and proposed that I stay over with him in the hotel after that. H texted back "Dinner is ok. But I suggest you don't stay over. I'll be busy entertaining. And NO, she is not staying over either." I replied "Ha ha...I thought I could take the Wednesday slot and she the Thursday slot. Ha ha. Btw sent you an email about the boys' school".
In my email, I asked H about his visit to the International School...was it fact finding or enrolment.
H : Only fact finding. Have not apply yet. Like i said, let's wait till after the Muslim Holidays
Me: Yes, I can wait till after Muslim Holidays, or even after CNY. So, I guessed whatever happens, this way or that, boys will remain in their old schools. I am not rushing you, just need to make plans for my boys.
Me: I mean make plans for OUR boys.
H: No rush applying....no place anyway. Can only tell if the class room has space after X'Mas. Like i said, it's a fact finding mission. The boys stay in PC until we decide to move them.
Me: For your info. One stays in PCand th e other is still at D. I know...seems like ages and S5 is still at Kindergarten next year!!!

H just called me..
H: What's with the being so nice? Wifey and all
Me: I always use that.
H: No. Not lately (So, he noticed!?!)
Me: Well...it's just a few months of niceness and let's see if it continues to be nice or turn nasty.
H: You mean it can turn nasty?
Me: You yourself said that it will definitely turn nasty if it's the other way.
H: Will it?
Me: Well.... probably...Lots of things that I cannot control. But I don't want to talk about it.
H: Why? And what's with this overnight thing? Aren't we separated?
Me: We are not really separated.
H: We are not living together..
Me: Yes, physically,....but can you consider that as separation? We still talk everyday, and still have s@x
H: Trial separation. Well, in that case maybe no more s@x then.
Me: You can live without it?
H: Find a replacement.
Me: As you said, nothing can replace me. Anyway, don't wanna talk about it.....
H: Okay, bye then.

I know that I am "Pursuing" but I think I am being too "dormant" for too long. I have signed my emails as "Wifey" which is what I've always done. But have lately stopped doing so because of our sitch. So, am restarting to use "wifey". I am changing to new tactics. Reason is is multifold..... OW cannot move to Country X as H's dependent. So, I do have the upperhand! He he he...I know it sounds a bit bad, but it is invigorating to know that. The law over here....H has no grounds for filing D. The criteria are:
1) Physical separation of 2 years - this is OUT because we still have s@x (as advised by my L friend. SO, I have been recording down the dates of our sessions)
2) Infidelity - also OUT because I'm not the guilty party
3) Abuse - defintely OUT

Even if H uses the 2-year separation, if I don't sign it, H still can't get a divorce. This is the one bit that he is ANGRY with me...He feels he is cornered to make a decision to CHOOSE the family. And he will despise me for it, and end up with neither her nor me. I know it may sound terrible of me to HANG ON...but H cannot remain angry with me for too long....So, in time, I know in confidence he will come round. Plus he still need to see the kids. No, Will not use the kids. So, he will still have to contact me to see the kids... I hate to say it, and perhaps some of you DBers will say it is wrong....but even if I don't get H , I don't want OW to have him either. So, my hook and by crook will try to be as nice as possible..... even if only for these few months.... and see if things go my way...If not...perhaps all out war?
By the way, don't worry, still GAL and PMA! Have my weekend planned out with friends and parties already!!