Journalling.. Saturday: H texted because he had got a missed call and thought it was me. Responded his text and told him NO, wasn't me. H called around noon. Asking the same question. And asked what I was doing. Told him that I was watching telly but will be going out soon. Later that night, H texted "Spoke to my mom earlier today. Will call Aunt Lily tmrw. Will come back tmrw. Might need you to pick me up from the station". I didn't respond to this text.
Next morning (Sunday); H called about 9 am and said that he's in the train and asked if I could pick him up at the station. I said OK and went to pick him up. He called and said to pick him up from the adjoining hotel (I have to say that sparked my curiosity...did he come back last night and stayed the night in the hotel with OW, and lied that he is only back today??) because when I picked him up, he was empty handed and in bermudas. Certainly didn't look like he had been on the plane. He said that he had left his stuff at the Left Luggage over in Country Y, and he had to fly back to Country Y at 2 pm (mind you, I picked him up about 9.30 am). I did wonder if what he said was indeed true. *sigh* He spent time with the boys in the boys room, and then kept coming into the kitchen to check on me, and gave me quite a long lingering kiss. It was nice but confused me even more...with that. We did end up having or@ls@x as it was the time of the month. And later, the boys were kidding around with him in our room. And H made comments. - to S8 "You may end up in an international school next year" - to S8 "you must tell me if there's anybody sleeping next to your mommy" - "Don't worry. Things will be okay" - " You must be asking what is wrong, right? One minute, I want you, One minute, I don't" I don't know I am really sooo confused my H. When I took him back to the station, I did tell him that I am tired of listening to words..he's talk the talk, and he must walk the walk. To which, he started laughing. He said that I said it wrong. It's not walk the walk. It should be walk the talk. Blah blah blah. He just found it sooo amusing about the whole episode and then: H: Can't you leave things as it is? I told you it would be okay Me: I have to. It's not within my control Then H again asked me to drop him at the hotel...I have to say that I had to blurt out.. Me: Are you sure you came back this morning? Or did you come back last night? H: This is on my own account. I don't have so much money. Besides, you think if I stay in the hotel, I won't have the boys over for swimming? Me: I don't know? Perhaps you don't want to. You have someone else. DIrty sheets and all. H: You said so yourself, these things don't bother me. To which, I started to tear, Me: I don't want to talk anymore. H: (Caress my arm), take it easy. It'll be okay. And we were at the front of the hotel and dropped H off. H: I will call you when I arrive.
I got home, wanting to do some DIY, and found that my toolbox was missing. My helper told me that H had took it. Again, I thought, he must have taken it to help OW with stuff as she just moved to her new home. At first, had a long text to H but decided to keep it short. Me: Where is my toolbox? I hope it's not where I think it is. Me: I need to talk to you. I will call you once my guests leave. H: The tool stuff are on its way to Country X. Shipped it over together with my stuff. Call me when you can. Waiting for bag. Later, H called me but my guests were still around. So, I called him later, and he kept on insisting that the toolbox is with him. I told him that I felt sooo stupid paying his bills with my money, and him taking stuff from the house, and giving money to OW. To which he replied that he didn't give any moeny to OW. He didn't really want to talk as he was halfway watching his football. He didn't sound angry though.
I know that I shouldn't...am backsliding with mention of OW. BUt I really FELT sooooo stupid of doing all these things.
Anyway, sent him a long email about the things that he promised to give ($$ for the boys) and the stuff tha the owes me. Again, he replied with such a crappy reply. And we IMed abit and again, he said "If things go ape [censored], we can have a legal binding agreement". I am sooo fed-up, I know I am getting impatient...but I just don't want to be stupid to pay his bills and be in the red while he is off-galavanting with OW with the money, and I just hate that he waltz into the house and take stuff out. I am sooo confused with things in my sitch.
I think I have to NOT see him to be more composed. Thank god that the next time I see him would be another 3 weeks. Give me some time to get composed. I think the next encounter, I will have to keep it minimal to just be about the boys.
as it was the time of the month. And later, the boys were kidding around with him in our room. And H made comments.
