Dear all... Thanks for dropping by to check on me and giving me the advice of going DARK and also not to think of negatives.I was about to start with my "accusation" when I logged-in. Thank god I did, otherwise I would have gone off to call H and give him an earful of what I think he is doing with OW.. *Sigh* I am indeed yoyoing...I was in Country X from Wed to Friday....

Tuesday Night...H did call me on my cellphone when I was on my way back. Kept the call real short. He did send me an SMS to ask me to call him before I board my flight for Country X. The next morning (Wed), when I was on the train to the airport, H called me on my cell again. Brief hello, and how is everything type of convo. Called me again around dinner time. Was with some work ppl, so didn't really talk long. Told me that his flight back to Country X would be late late on Thursday night.

Thursday AM, H called me during breakfast. Again brief chit chat. What hotel I am at blah blah blah, and then told me that he couldn't get a flight back on Thursday night, and will only be back on Friday AM. Around mid-day, got a call from H telling me that he's getting the car back to the house, blah blah blah. A few texts were exchanged with regards to the remote and the car. Then later, I got a surprising text from H. It read "Not sure if u wanna hear this...but I missed you. May be confused, but I do love you lots....particularly after Sunday's passionate session". I didn't reply the text nor call. In the evening, H called my cell. Brief chit chat about where I was, about his friend attending an interview with his old company, blah blah blah.

Next morning, Friday... When H arrived in Country X, he sent me a text to ask me to call him. I did and all he said was "send me an SMS when you reach home". That was it!! When I arrived home, didn't text H, and got one at about 10.00 pm and asked if I was home and how were the boys. Sent him a long text about not calling me... I think this one was a backslid on my part. My text "Arrived. In car. Boys are fine. As you can't get her out of your life, you'll have to get out of mine. Don't call unless you want to talk to the boys. And you don't have to text to ask about the boys everyday. You'll get to know if there's anything. Thanks and bye!". I know that I shouldn't but I am quite sick and fed-up and trying to be his friend, pretending that nothing has happened. Well, he has heeded my request and hasn't called since.

Sat..did send him a text "Call now if you want to speak to both boys". Well, he did, and I let the boys answer the call. They spoke to him, and then ended the call. Didn't talk to him. Later I sent him a text to tell him about some of his letters. He replied and mentioned that he would call me. Well, he hasn't...

I am sooooooo confused. I don't know what is happening. Am I impatient? Am I going crazy? I have this funny feeling that she (OW) may have gone over to spend the weekend with him, that's why he sounded kinda weird on Friday, and hasn't called... It's my fault, isn't it?? Gosh...feel quite shitty...felt like calling him and bombarding him with questions...BUT NO, I won't. I am gonna control myself...