My W is the Mona Lisa too. She didn't have a scratch on it though. I came home and found a big piece of Sh*t on it. It was smelling and corn like. When I tried to wash it off, some of the paint came off with it. The sh*t is still there, the painting still smells...and some of the paint is gone. I didn't throw it away...I put it in the garage. Hopefully when the sh*t dries and flakes off, I can bring ol Mona back in the house. She'll be duller but she'll be home.
I know, it was a one shot deal. I had to do it, just to satisfy myself and to show WAW & OM that I'm not afraid of them or the sitch. I'll never forget the look it his eyes, I'm not sure if it was anger at me, WAW or himself for getting into this mess, or maybe he wasn't sure what I was going to do.
Anyway, that period of my life is over and done with.
They "celebrated" their 1-yr-anniversary in July, so they should be burnt out by next year this time.
I did tell W that I could not go on Thu but how about Fri or Sat. I also mentioned that S8 had a quick scout meeting Sat p.m. after mass and I would need to pick him up.
W emailed me (In a joking manner) that she did not think it was fair that she pay for the babysitter and take me out to dinner and a movie. So instead, why don't we see the movie on a night next week when I have the kids so I will pay for babysitter AND- Why don't all of us go out to dinner on Sat after the scout meeting. BUT WAIT, there's more...
She called three times today 1. Hey, I'm going to be downtown, give me a call. 2. Hey, I'm downtown and I have some papers from the school for you, give me a call. 3. Hey, call me and let's go out to lunch.
(Unfortunately, I was playing golf in Tahoe when she called, can you say GAL)
So, there is definitely something going on here. Now, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, it still concerns me re her comments about a wonderful relationship AFTER the divorce. Other WAWs out there, did you ever tell your Hs that you can be great friends after the break up? I need some input on this. Thanks.
I told H that we could have a "Bruce and Demi-style" divorce. And I meant it (still do). I figure if I try everything and it still doesn't work out, well I have a choice of how I want my divorce to work. And I used to have the marriage that was the envy of all my friends. If need be, I'll have the divorce that's the envy of all my friends.
Naive perhaps. But yeah, that's a secondary goal (after reconciliation).
And my H's attitude towards me relaxed and improved dramatically after I told him that.
AND... 20% of divorces end in remarriages. So there's always that.
Think of all the presents you'd get at your SECOND wedding!
Anna, I don't want a relationship after divorce. I know that sounds mean, but I've said it before. I will not stand by her as a friend or "Buddy" if she goes through with this. Ain't gonna happen. She cannot have her cake and eat it to!
Just wanted to jump in on your post and say I'm the same way. I can't be H's best friend, confidant, and his strength if we get a D. I will be the mother of our children and a co-parent. That's it. I think if he had really tried with me to repair our M and given it his all and it didn't work, then I could still be his friend. But not if it ends this way. Am I cynical?
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
No WCB, you are not. The fact is that I love my W so very much. For her to expect me to stand by as her pal while she is with some other guy and after she has broken her vows to me and us and destroyed our family, well, like I said, forget it.
You're not cynical, I think that if it does end, some of us just need a clean break.
Anna, that is a great secondary goal!! I hope that it doesn't come to that either.
I have to echo the sentiments of the others, though, when I say that my W and I will not be best buds. We will get along for the sake of our S5, and because God calls us to, but we will not be the "Bruce & Demi" style friends, at least not for a long while. Too much has happened...when WAW leaves twice for OM's...too much damage done. This is not to say we can not reconcile...we can IF she is willing to put forth the effort.
May God bless you on your journey.
Bryan
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I'm right there with you WCB. That's exactly how I feel about my possible post D relationship with W. To each his own though.
WAWF, I can relate to your W's comment about her post D wishes. Way back (about a year ago) my W said some wacky stuff about wishing that polygamy was legal, then she could have both men she wanted. She was less than half joking at the time. Now I see it was obvious that she was getting some of her needs fulfilled by me and the rest by OM. This is probably very similar to how your W is feeling right now. She really has no major complaints about you, but she's in love with him right now so that's who she should be M to (in her mind).
How friendly you are with W if there should be a D is up to you. In a way you are lucky. You found DB very early on in your sitch. You've burnt very few bridges with W. You can pick and choose which ones you want to burn (none or maybe all of them). It took me 8 months to find DB so I don't have that luxury and I'm a little envious.
