Quote: they're thumbing their nose at society's view of marriage and saying instead that adultery is preferable over marriage.
Nicely put. Now add some small children to the mix and what do you have? My initial reaction to my W when I discovered the A 3 months ago was, "How could you be attracted to someone who would commit adultery with a happily married woman and actively work to destroy a family with small children??"
Quote: remember, please, that our spouses were the ones that strayed. They made the choice to fool around. The bottom line is that our spouses made the choice, not the other person.
I agree that the spouses are the ones who strayed, but in the beginning of my sitch, when I announced that I was going to make changes and work on saving my marriage, W told me that OM loved her and would fight for her. And he did.
On that first day of discovery I called OM and asked him why he wanted MY wife?...that we had small children - a baby, for God's sake! - Why? It's shameful!!
He told me that he was not proud of his actions, but he had feelings for her...so too bad I guess. I asked him to back off and leave us alone. He was text messaging my wife within 20 minutes of my plea to cease and desist.
So she strayed, but he did his damndest to lead her astray.
Later when I told my W how disgusting I found him to be, she asked why I don't feel the same way about her as I do him as she is just as culpable (if not more so). I told her that what I value most is my family, and she is part of my family.
I likened the affair to a diseased organ. THe sick organ will be the death of you, but its still your organ. Its the disease you hate. I told her that she is the liver and OM is the cancer. She got a chuckle out of my analogy...
