Quote: We had a very long discussion on Sunday in which I told him I love him very much but I cannot make him come back, I cannot make him end it w/her
And yet you see instigating the divorce as a crutch to do exactly that, make him end it w/her and come back.
Tessa, I don't blame your motives. I personally don't approve of infidelity and have little patience for it. But I also believe that if you are the one to initiate divorce that you are saying..."I'm done with you forever. I'm moving on." I don't see it as a tool to beat your spouse into seeing the light. I see it solely as an admission that the marriage is over. It just seems paradoxical to want to be the one to both save your marriage and destroy it (I know...your H is the one that won't let go of OW). It seems to run counter to "divorce busting".
Most of that sounds harsh and I'm sorry, but I get the feeling that you feel there may be greener grass. If you get divorced you may find someone again and have kids. Will it be so easy after wanting to work on your marriage to start again with someone else and get to the having kids stage?
It's ultimately what you feel is best for you. I hope that at the point you file for divorce that you are doing it solely for yourself without expectations that your H will wake up suddenly and come running back, but rather with the expectation that the marriage is over.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
