I haven't posted in a while, but I have been keeping up on your situation and I just want to say that I think you are doing absolutely awesome!
I know I am way different than you, in that I wouldn't have been able to "listen" to my H talk about OW so much. I think that he has been using you to "talk to" about all of this. He (obviously) needed this .. for a time, don't you think? But .. do you think that the time has come that you finally put a stop to all talk about monster? I couldn't say why your H is revealing so much to you .. he can't really think that you want to hear this? I realize that you feel that you are walking a fine line with the balancing act that you are in with your H .. currently. I wonder if you might just come out and ask him if he thinks that you want to hear/need to know about all that he is telling you? If so, you could say that I just want you to know that is NOT the case. Tell him that YOU are done with monster and you don't want/need to hear any more about her.
I know that you are now in (kind-of) the worry mode about your daughter and son-in-law temporarily moving in. If there really is nothing that can be done about this, then I guess that everyone will just have to make the best out of this potential bad situation. Of course, it will probably be up to YOU (once again) to stay on that high road and continually show your H and son the good things that happen because of your D and SIL living with you. While moving in .. keep telling your daughter how great it is that that she is with you again. I know I don't have to tell you .. Act "as if" and you WILL eventually feel this. If your feeling closed in .. with no privacy during this time, maybe it will be a good time to get your H to go out more with you? You'll have a "built-in" babysitter for your son ..
Just some of my thoughts. As I said above .. you are doing great! Keep on keeping on!!
