I just found some of the posts here, havent gotten back for 2 days. Have to say things are some better, but to respond:
Quote:

You don't trust him, or you don't trust the monster?


to be honest, my trust in him is still tremulous because of all the times I worked so hard to not rush to judgement and trust what he said, and he was flat out stinking lying to me. all the hunting trips...all the saturdays of "doing paperwork"....paperwork, that's what I used to call her. soooooooo hard, and I pretty much knew and stuffed it all down. so now it's hard to get past that....except, things ARE different now. he is much more loving and considerate, and for the most part open. of course, it helps that he doesnt do paperwork anymore, , and that now S13 is old enough to hunt with his dad and likes it... and that he sends me emails that say ILY and holds my hand and snuggles me at night and makes a point of talking with me, and a lot of other little things.

I DO trust monster....I trust her to devote her warped pathetic mind to doing anything and everything she can to get back at both of us, to cause all the trouble she possibly can for as long as she possibly can. D and I were talking the night this all happened and she said "of course she never gives up, she's a psychopath and their minds don't work like other peoples and it's all part of the game". and you know what? she's right.

but as I type this, I realize that the answer is partially above....and H has said this in the last couple days as I've been so upset....but anyway, she gets her power by causing problems between us. not letting her do that takes away her power. So, the more I can ignore her crap, the less power she has. which is not to say I dont' need to make sure H knows my feelings about contact. But letting myself get upset by her is sure counter productive.

been around awhile!