I thought he wasn't going to talk to her on email??? When did this start back up??? This is not acceptable. I think you need to put your foot down about this.
You're right, he's getting drawn back into the drama, and he is being STUPID to have these convos on his office computer, I guarantee you the IT people at his work can access it all, and will if she ever makes a complaint against him.
I don't know when it started back up, the last I knew it was not going on. As I said my best guess it that somehow/sometime in the last 2 weeks, because that is when he seemed to pull away.
I may run to the book store to get another copy of after the affair. I'm not even sure what i'm thinking I need to find there.
maybe what I'm hoping to get from the book is a clearer idea of what i need to ask for. Plus I need to be doing "work", not messing with all his damn crap.
The ugly monster keeps rearing it's head, and doesn't seem to go away.
H said he would never again say a word about anything between them, I told him that makes it worse.
Yup, I definitely think you're right on that. This could take a bad situation for you, and make it worse.
When are the times when something comes up involving her, and things seem to go better than other times? What are you both doing when the monster subject goes away quicker than other times, and/or is less intense?
JJ
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Quote: When are the times when something comes up involving her, and things seem to go better than other times? What are you both doing when the monster subject goes away quicker than other times, and/or is less intense?
I guess I'd have to think about this one. off hand, I'd say it goes away quicker and is less intense when he's really open about it contact that has happened (guess that's why I DON'T want him to stop talking) and when he is disgusted at her, and when we've been especially close, and he has been really affectionate.
Other than that, I'm not sure what. or where to go from here. I don't know if this will ever go away.
Hi Deb - I am so sorry your H is e-mailing monster
((((Deb))))
I can so relate to where you are at right now. My H recently called up exff (past possible EA) after 2 years. They too work in the same place (diff. depts. now). One of her friends works with H and told H something about her to him
Sending good vibes your way...
Take Care, SP
According to the Buddha, praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow may "come and go like the wind," but happiness comes if you can "rest like a great tree in the midst of them all."
thanks, SP...yeah, it stinks, doesnt it? I'm just kind of in a fog right now. I may be overreacting (I'm sure that's what H would say)...but I'm really having a hard hard time. If I didnt have an important meeting here at work, I think I'd go home sick. I'm surprised how hard this has hit me. guess I shouldnt be though.
I did get 2 short emails from H over lunch break, both of them saying "I sure love you"....I just didnt have the heart for a conversation with him, emailed back "ILY too" and let it go at that...see I have another email, don't know if it's from him or not.
I keep asking myself why I'm so upset, I guess it is the stupid old trust thing. We'll never get past it if he keeps doing this.
Quote: She screwed around with a married man, and she's upset that he isn't with her?
and yep, basically in a nut shell that is it.
I always believed that the only reason she would have ever told him she was dating this other guy was to try to make him jealous so he came running back to her.
