HI Slowly, You're #1! I can't believe I havent posted for a week, have been so busy. actually I have a lot to post about but only a minute to do so....
I'll just start with tonight. I talked with H for a few minutes before taking S to class. We were talking about our respective days, and H was telling me about an emergency he had come in....and then he said he "had to call the devil about the meds....it took me a while to get it..."oh, you mean monster"...and he said yeah, and how she started to chit chat and he told her no, he didnt want to talk with her but had to call to get this info clarified...and had monster talk directly with the client instead of being the "go-between"...and that he hates haveing to talk to her, that he always communicates by email when at all possible, and that when he has to email, he emails her supervisor and cc's it to monster....
I'm kinda going by the book here, but I took this as a very positive sign, That he is openly and unsolicited sharing "unavoidable contacts" with me...According to "not just friends", all contact must stop, and all unavoidable contact must be openly shared with the spouse. H seems to be doing it....without me asking him to. I was just thinking today of how I might ask him for that....
I think things are "ok" with him as far as his suicide gesture 2 weeks ago tonight. I am thinking that was the day that it actually "really" ended for him....
gotta go get S...
but, Desdamonda, your post was the last one on my old thread, I wanted to copy it here for continuity's sake and will jot a bit about it tomorrow: I thought most therapists were in therapy. To help them process all the negativity that they hear every day. How odd. I know my friend goes off on seminares etc and continues to work on being self actualized. It sounds like your husband is prideful.
I am not sure about the talking. I think I would have loves my husband to just talk truthfully with me like that. Only you know what will work for the two of you.
I understand how difficult it is to deal with someone who refuses to address their "stuff" I am not sure about your husband, but in my husband's case, I think therapy would be about changing and he doesn't see a need to change anything. He intends to continue taking prescription drugs, smoking and keeping secrets.
Sounds like you are doing great handling everything. desdamona
