You have been doing so well for so long... This must sound as if all the effort was for nothing...
There are three things I would like you to consider: 1. Are you ready to move on? Do you think this R can't be salvaged and YOU don't want to work at it any more? 2. If your H is anything like most of the WAS's here - just becuase this is the way he says he feels now, doesn't mean he will always feel this way. 3. As for H blaming you for everything - isn't that typical WAS behaviour?
I have seen a lot of positives in your sitch, especially over the past month. In fact, one month ago, I don't think you would have had this conversation with H, because you would have already known what he would say. In this case, I would say that the fact that you needed to ask that was actually a baby step forward.
